be aware that the fact that most people don’t have symptoms doesn’t just mean you won’t be aware you have it, it also means your partners may have an STI and not be aware they have it. the person who gave me herpes had NO idea of his status.
get yourself tested! be aware of your own status. take care of your own health and help keep transmission of STIs down!
And you have to actually ask to get tested for herpes. It is not part of the regular sti screenings
::points:: THAT. THAT THAT THAT. the “standard panel” is HPV, HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia. if you’re not sure what they’re testing for, ask!
I basically had to fight with my old gyno to get tested for HIV and herpes.
When choking your lady out, squeeze the sides. Not the air way. The pleasure comes from the lack of blood. Not the lack of oxygen. Plus if you choke the airway too hard you could break it so squeeze the sides, not the front. And don’t do it all at once either. Start soft and then squeeze gradually harder.
Important fact kids. Don’t forget it. And don’t hold on too long.
Mister and I had a really intense session this week. It involved restraint and some other elements we have been working our way up to. I was edged and then made to come over and over again until I was incoherent and unable to function.
The psychological aspect was the most powerful. Mister was able to do more with his words than I ever thought was possible. He used his words and he reached down inside of me. He cracked me open and set me free. When he was done, I was left raw and venerable.
Mister is always good about aftercare. Our usual routine involves skin to skin cuddling, something sweet and warm to drink (unless we’re in a tropical climate, then it will be cool and sweet), something to eat, and soothing words paired with caressing. He likes to keep me still, as I tend to be highly sensitive after a session.
This time, I fell asleep during aftercare. We both had to work the next day, and our session happened after we’d both had pretty intense work days.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt groggy. I didn’t really think much of it, because I’m not a morning person, and we’d had an intense night. I just figured it was just regular morning tiredness after a long, intense night.
About an two hours after Mister dropped me off at work he figured out that something was wrong aside from regular morning grogginess. He figured it out before I did. I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to actually realize that something was wrong.
Mister had been texting me, and I wasn’t responding in the way I normally would have. I was either sending him one word responses or sentences that didn’t sound like something I would normally write.
So, he called. And he knew immediately that I was in trouble. I wasn’t able to answer him as well as normally. My voice was really soft. I was speaking too slowly. I was mumbling and slightly slurring my words. I was having problems gathering my thoughts and tracking our conversation. He called me again, and I was just getting worse. He asked me how I was doing, and I told him that I was having some weird vision problems.
My vision had gone a little blurry and my eyes couldn’t seem to track when I was reading. Mister asked me what was going on and I told him that everything was “fuzzy”. He told me he’d be by to get me in the next hour. He told me to just sit quietly until he arrived.
He had me tell my coworkers I had a migraine. I’m so glad he gave me those instructions, because I don’t know what I would have said if he hadn’t. A lovely coworker came into my office and closed the shades so the room was dim, which made it easier for me to tolerate.
Mister called me again to ask how I was doing. I told him my hands had started shaking and I didn’t know if I could stand. I told him I was scared. He told me he would be there in the next 20 minutes.
He arrived in less than 15. When he came into my office, I was sitting with my eyes closed and my hands clasped in my lap. He took my face in his hands and asked me to look at him. Whatever he saw on my face worried him. I could tell even if I wasn’t able to fully comprehend what was going on.
I was correct in thinking I wouldn’t be able to walk. Mister had to support me with an arm around my waist. It just felt like putting one foot in front of the other was almost impossible. I stumbled a few times and as soon as we got to the parking garage (and out of sight of my coworkers) he picked me up and carried me the rest of the way to the car.
Once we were in the car, Mister turned me to face him. He told me I had two choices. I could close my eyes or I could look at him. I was not to look out of the windows or windshield. I’m glad he gave me these instructions, as I would have definitely gotten sick or fainted from looking at that much activity.
He unbuttoned his shirt and took my hand, sliding it into his shirt so I could feel his skin and the soothing motion of his ribcage as he breathed. Skin on skin contact is such a very important element of our aftercare. He started the car, turned up the heat, then we headed home.
Our drive home was quiet. I looked at him, and when things became too intense, I would close my eyes and concentrate on the feeling of his warm skin beneath my fingers.
We arrived home pretty quickly. He helped me out of the car and into our building. Once we reached our floor, he carried me the rest of the way. As soon as we entered our place, he stripped me down to my panties and put me to bed. He covered me with several blankets, then he went to gather some things before he stripped down to his underwear and joined me in bed.
When he came back, I was curled into a ball and shivering. Mister wrapped himself around me and stroked my back. I was able to uncurl, but I was still shivering and unable to speak. Mister helped me to roll onto my stomach, then he slowly, carefully laid on top of me. His weight and his heat pressing me into the bed calmed my shivering. He had his mouth at my ear, telling me that he loved me and I was safe. He told me that it was ok for me to come back. He was there to keep me safe. He had me and wouldn’t let me go.
The shivering slowly stopped. But as the shivers stopped, the tears began. Mister stayed on top of me while I cried. It wasn’t hysterical crying, or anything like that. It was slow, steady weeping.
I felt confused and lost. Overwhelmed. Some of those feelings had been buried. I hadn’t really allowed myself to feel them for a while. Our session the night before had brought them to the surface. I’d fallen asleep before I’d purged them. Our session had caused a second set of reactions that neither one of us anticipated.
My love allowed me to cry. He never shushed me. He eventually sat up and pulled me into his arms, wrapping me even more tightly in the blankets.
I slowly stopped crying. Mister held me quietly for a while. When I opened my eyes, I noticed he’d dimmed the lights and lit a few candles that I really like. He helped me drink some apple juice, then continued to hold me while I dozed a little.
When I woke up, he’d made me lunch. I wasn’t hungry, but he asked me to take a few bites and before I knew it, I’d finished the entire thing. After I ate, Mister turned on some movies for me. I just laid quietly and watched the movies. Occasinally, Mister would tilt my chin up so he could check my eyes.
The wonderful thing is, he didn’t make me speak. He would ask me questions and I’d nod or shake my head. I’d shrug if I didn’t know the answer.
I spent most of the day in bed. Mister did help me up a few times. I tried to venture downstairs to the kitchen, but I was too shaky, so he sent me back to bed.
He stayed with me. He brought food up for us and put a heating pad in the bed next to me so I could have some extra heat if I wanted it. He’d also bought me a coloring book and crayons. There was a moment where we had a movie on, and I was cuddled up next to him. He had his arms around me. He was watching the movie while I colored in my book.
I never would have thought to include coloring or art in our aftercare. Somehow, Mister knew that as much as I love art and being creative, a “mindless” activity such as coloring would be perfect to help me decompress.
I didn’t speak for most of the day. I didn’t need to. I didn’t want to. Mister didn’t make me. I just wanted to be small and safe in his arms. He allowed me to.
The next morning, he took me to have tea. Tea was lovely. We were the first ones there, so it was very quiet. We had a quiet conversation, tiny sandwiches, and scones. Mister prepared my tea for me, he added an extra cube of sugar before he added the cream.
After tea, he took me back home and put me back in bed. I spent most of the day in bed with Mister. When I did venture out, I was very clingy. Holding his hand and staying as close as possible. When he went to make us a snack, I held on to his shirt when he needed his hands.
The entire time, both days, he stopped several times and had me look at him. He can tell so much just by looking into my eyes.
Mister and I eventually talked about what happened. We realized that this was the first time we’d had an extra intense session while we were not on vacation. The other times, we’d been on vacation and I’d had a few days to recover.
He apologized for not anticipating that I might have a delayed drop. He assured me that in the future, we will not have an extra intense session without adequate recovery time for me. He was proud of how well I’d done, but it will be a while before he pushes me that hard. And he will always ensure I have enough recovery time.
So what happens when aftercare isn’t enough? More aftercare.
Condoms are only 98% effective when used correctly.
Sugar can cause infections in the vagina. This means things like chocolate sauce, honey, and lubricants with glycerin can be harmful.
Having sex with an intoxicated person is legally rape in most US states, even if the person verbally consents. In the eyes of the law, drugs and alcohol impair your ability to consent to sex.
Unprotected anal sex is the most dangerous sex act when it comes to spreading STIs.
Not everyone can climax from oral sex or even likes oral sex. Don’t assume—ask your partner what they want!
Condoms expire! Check the date on the wrapper. Also, storing them in wallets is not a good idea (see #8)
If someone with a vagina has unprotected anal sex, semen can drip down into the vagina and pose a (slight, but still real) risk for pregnancy.
Do not keep condoms in your wallet. The friction and heat exposure of keeping them there can make them ineffective. Keep them somewhere cool, dry, and out of sunlight.
You should be tested for STIs with each new partner you have. Annual appointments are not enough protection if you have multiple partners in that time.
Having anal sex does not lead to a gaping asshole unless your partner is literally an elephant.
Sex with elephants is illegal. Don’t do that.
Masturbating while wearing a condom can help people with penises get used to wearing them before sex.
Penis size does not define your worth. It is not the be-all, end-all factor for most people.
In fact, lots of people with large penises have trouble having sex without hurting their partner since the average vagina size is 6”-8” when aroused (it’s only 3”-4” when not aroused!).
Your first time will almost definitely not be your best time. That’s okay, I promise.
Herpes and pubic lice can still infect you if a condom is used if testicles come in contact with a vuvla.
Only one out of three people can orgasm from receiving vaginal penetration alone. You’re not broken.
People with penises can orgasm without ejaculating.
The muscles in a vagina can be abnormally tense and cause intense pain when penetrated with a toy, penis, or tampon. This is called vaginismus and treatment for this includes relaxation therapy and using medical rods to help the muscles relax.
The number of sexual partners you have does not define you. This rule applies to all genders.
A diet of lots of dairy and meat can cause ejaculate to taste bad. Fruits that are very sweet (like pineapple) help combat this for some people. However, due to body chemistry, medications, and other factors, it might not always do the trick.
Dental dams make oral sex with someone with a vulva safer. They are thin sheets of latex and can be home-made by cutting the ends off a condom and slitting it lengthwise to make a alternative option if you don’t have access to dental dams.
The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in it. That’s twice that of a penis! So, go gently until encouraged to do otherwise.
Sex does not have to stop when someone ejaculates. Remove any condoms or clean up any mess, and keep going until everyone is satisfied!
Communication is the number one factor to a better, healthier sex life.
The hymen is not a bone, and does not break. It is a membrane layer that stretches. It can tear, which can lead to pain and bleeding. However, sex for the first time (or ever!) should never hurt. Go slower and focus on foreplay to increase natural lubrication.
Sexuality is fluid for a lot of people. Don’t worry about labels until you’re sure in your sexual and romantic interests. Explore freely and worry about terms later.
Orgasms release hormones that are natural pain-killers. This is why some menstruating people masturbate when they have cramps, because the body naturally reduces pain after an orgasm.
The hormones released also account for why some people cry or get very emotional after an intense orgasm. It’s totally normal.
There are limitless kinks in the world and so long as they are safe and consensual, there is nothing wrong with them.
Medications and mental health disorders can mess with your sex drive. Talk to your doctor if your sex drive has suddenly increased or decreased after starting a medication—there may be alternatives.
There is nothing “un-manly” or “gay” about enjoying anal play. Most men who try anal enjoy a little sensation in that area. People with penises also have a p-spot (prostate) and can have intense orgasms through anal penetration.
Always use lubrication generously to avoid vaginal or anal tearing.
Urinating after sex can reduce the risk of a UTI in people with vaginas.
Enjoying casual sex does not make you a bad person if you are up-front with your intentions and don’t maliciously seek to hurt others.
Condoms come in multiple sizes! It should never be loose or painfully tight.
Being sex-positive does not mean that everyone needs to enjoy sex. It simply promotes the happiness and sexual exploration (or non-exploration) of others.
Porn is not an educational guide to sex.
Certain positions feel better than others. Switch it up and find out what works for you and your partner(s).
Condoms are more likely to break if you don’t leave a reservoir tip for ejaculate.
Labia are often asymmetrical. Your long/uneven/poofy/dark labia are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with your body.
Up to 80% of people with a vagina can squirt with either g-spot or clitoral stimulation.
Drug store pregnancy tests are just as effective as brand name ones. In some cases, they’re even MORE effective.
Elevating your butt with pillows can make missionary sex easier for those of us with a big tummy or thick thighs.
Plan B does not work on people over a certain weight (160-175lbs).
There are safe alternatives to condoms or oral contraceptives. Talk to your doctor about your options.
Sex toys can open up a whole new world to folks willing to explore.
Orgasms can be highly psychological. Most people can’t climax when they’re upset or distracted.
Birth control can cause people to miss periods or spot in between periods.
Sex doesn’t have to be gentle if you don’t want it to be. There are healthy ways to explore rough sex or BDSM.
xx SF
Thank you
Plan b doesn’t work if you’re over a certain weight limit?!
Everyone should reblog this
That shit said up to 80% of women can squirt. 😧
“People with vaginas” I love it love it love it
I heard the weight limit for plan B was like 170 LBS
I’m just going to address this quickly because I still get funny looks/questions/laughed at when I talk about wearing condoms, using condoms or buying condoms. Indeed, my spouse and I both have vaginas, but we use condoms regularly. The problem (and my frustration) is:
A. Not everyone uses condoms right now, especially people who don’t have penises
B. Some people without penises really need to use condoms
For some education on why you should use condoms, even if you don’t have a penis or don’t use a penis in sex:
The rate of HPV that’s spreading and how easily it’s spread is scary, and can lead to full-blown cancer. Someone in my family had pre-cancerous cells found in them and they still have to get regular check-ups to be screened for cancer in their cervix. There are also a ton of other STI’s that can be had from fluid contact (vagina to vagina included, or even from fingers, tongues, etc.) and shared toy use.
Also, a lot of common toys, especially dildos, are made from materials that can’t be sanitized effectively, so not only does that increase a risk of passing along STIs, but it also can lead to bacterial infections from the toys never being able to be truly cleaned, or other nasty reactions from non-medical-grade PVC or other materials that your body doesn’t like.
So, people who have vaginas or use toys:USE CONDOMS AND USE THEM EFFECTIVELY, as this comic demonstrates. Use them as dental dams, use them on your fingers, use them on your toys, use them for switching between vaginal and anal play, etc. etc. You can very literally save your, or someone else’s life, and I feel like the only time condoms are brought up is when there’s a penis involved. There’s no excuse not to be safe, and that includes not having a penis.
Reblogging again for the FANTASTIC information above. Condoms don’t just protect hetero couples from babies, they protect EVERYONE from STIs, bacteria, and infection no matter what you’re putting where!
