Aries: denies, denies, denies; may Facebook stalk; gets frustrated and punches wall
Taurus: goo-goo eyes all the way across the room; will do anything for lover Gemini: one day loves you the next day won’t text back Cancer: do you need anything? They got your back. Sick? They’ll make you soup. Cold? Here’s 20 blankets Leo: showers you in affection aka buys you whatever you want Virgo: secretive AF about their feelings for you, analyzes everything you do to determine whether or not a move should be made Libra: flirts with you way more than usual, sends nudes, seduces the fuck outta you Scorpio: honest as hell. You wanna know how they feel? Get ready to talk about it for an hour or two Sagittarius: wants to take you on adventures. Won’t really tell you how they feel, but will want to be around you all the time Capricorn: calculates every move they make towards you Aquarius: they will trap you in their own little world, you wouldn’t want to love anyone else Pisces: sits in room and thinks about you for hours. Maybe paints something that reminds them of you, or listens to songs that remind them of you.sagittarius
The Trouble With Centaurs: So you know how colts can run almost right away after they’re born, but babies can’t even hold their own heads up for a long time? Yeaaaaah….
i laughed so hard that i snorted and scared my pup
Screaming Internally: Capricorn, Taurus, Pisces, Libra
Screaming Externally: Aries, Leo, Cancer, Scorpio
Screaming Eternally: Virgo, Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius
Zodiac Signs AT THEIR WORST!
Chat(You can also refer to your Moon Sign)
Aries: Jealous, possessive, mean, fault finding, over-indulgent.
Taurus: Lazy, overly cautious, sensitive, feeling like everyone has bad intentions.
Gemini: Overwhelmed, easily depressed, snippy, judgmental and malicious, fickle, inconsistent.
Cancer: Uncommunicative, emotional rollercoaster, vulgar, sulking, wants to be alone, feels like they can never do anything right.
Leo: Overly aggressive, wasted energy, melodramatic, cold-hearted, distant, feels like it’s them against the world.
Virgo: Attitude, stand-offish, feeling sorry for themselves, self-pitying, really critical of others, lethargic and lazy.
Libra: Dramatic, highly sensitive, lazy, inactive, manipulative, dishonest, lashes out.
Scorpio: Revengeful, cynical, manipulative, highly secretive, mixture of raging emotions, overly obsessive.
Sagittarius: Argumentative, reckless, tactless, flaky, thoughtless, extremely harsh, volatile, unforgiving.
Capricorn: Snobbish, bossy, less forgiving, sees the worst in situations, hopeless, feeling attacked.
Aquarius: Very guarded, irrational thinking, more desperate, extremely detached, want to be left alone.
Pisces: Gullible, self-pitying, overly clingy, out of touch with reality, emotional, self-destructive.
what’s on the signs’ minds 99% of the time
ChatAries: ‘im going to fucking fight that’ (can apply to a person, an ideology or an inanimate object)
Taurus: something rude, most likely; or complaining about their love life
Gemini: has like 16000 different trains of thought going on in there jfc guys
Cancer: getting sentimental or low-key judging somebody, depending
Leo: something really fucking gay or really fucking salty
Virgo: ‘i look flawless’; also tends to think about sex way more often than the name implies
Libra: a funny story they’re about to recount or ‘this’ll make an excellent selfie opportunity’
Scorpio: contemplating some Deep Shit like a brooding hipster nerd
Sagittarius: either nerding out very articulately or (that one gibberish iggy azalea rap verse) there isn’t any middle ground there
Capricorn: comes up with cool one-liners a beat too late; says a meme instead
Aquarius: same as gemini except they absolutely need someone to run over with all 16000 trains of thought
Pisces: ‘i need a drink’; ‘why is this happening to me’ and variations thereof
How the signs flirt
StandardAries: watches from a distance and kind of just groans angstily
Taurus: is super shy about it but is also really fucking adorable at the same time
Gemini: HEY FUCKER! YOU’VE GOT ONE HELL OF A PERSONALITY! LET’S GET DINNER SOMETIME
Cancer: compliments them, then backs off, then compliments them again, then backs off, then compli…
Leo: flirting? HA! Leos are too shy to flirt.
Virgo: makes a lot of fucking innuendos
Libra: you know, you look a lot like this fictional character that I really like-
Scorpio: you’re hot. I’m hot. let’s go cool off together. 😉
Sagittarius: dO YOU WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP IN WHICH BOTH OF US CONSENSUALLY KISS AND CUDDLE AND MAYBE HAVE THE SEXIES fuck too forward
Capricorn: is actually a really good flirter. jesus christ how to they do it
Aquarius: they don’t need to flirt. everyone else flirts with them
Pisces: gets all flustered and blushy