clingy but pretends they’re not: capricorn, scorpio, taurus, leo
not clingy, not fronting: aquarius, virgo, gemini, sagittarius
not clingy but pretends to be: libra
clingy and doesn’t give a fuck: cancer, pisces, aries
sagittarius
JANUARY HOROSCOPES
Aries, the way you refuse to let anyone be invisible around you is a profound act of empathy.
Taurus, it is not that you have a gift but that you are the gift.
Gemini, you are only afraid of power because it is all you’ve ever wanted.
Cancer, like a diamond, light catches you and shines from every angle.
Leo, you deserve to be able to talk openly about what happened to you.
Virgo, the ideas you have are interesting and clever and worth listening to.
Libra, you matter more than sent emails and a crossed off to-do list.
Scorpio, addiction has a whole hungry family of its own to feed.
Sagittarius, your sexuality is still valid even if you had to make a home out of the closet.
Capricorn, you do not miss them; you miss the person you allowed yourself to be around them.
Aquarius, it is impossible to hate your body into loving yourself.
Pisces, do not mistake the curled fist of jealousy for intimacy.
Reblog with your sign in the tags
Standardaries: the definition of a fuckboy but they actually have a soul. literally don’t give two shits about the haters and are some of the most loyal friends i’ve ever encountered. have very sudden growth periods. super dedicated to anything they put their mind to. ALSO OH MY GOD SO GOOD WITH THE TONGUE
taurus: very eccentric, don’t really know how to deal with emotions. get flustered easily but it’s kinda cute. dreamy demeanor. will ignore the hell out of u if u fuck them over. are lowkey terrified of everything but will probs never admit that as they have some weird element of ego tied into that.
gemini: really chill people when u get to know them but will scare the shit out of u for like six years if u don’t approach them. do not fucking piss them off as they will butcher yo ass with their tongue and hang u up for the rest of the world to see. probably has daddy issues. writers. really physically attractive and everybody is intimidated as fuck by it. dumb as hell in terms of love and will flirt with you incessantly. REALLY FUCKIN GOOD WITH THEIR HANDS LIKE DAMN.
cancer: big hearts. fuckin adorable little water signs that are likely drowning in a puddle of their own tears. do not know how to fucking flirt to save their lives. their laughs are kooky as hell and i love it. probably smoke weed. u either love ‘em or want to kill them or are in some poorly balanced inbetween.
leo: okay y’all needa settle down a bit. fragile fuckin egos if i’ve ever seen ‘em and react hardcore if u piss them off. pretty over the top with everything. but damn, are some of the most hopelessly romantic motherfuckers i’ve met. will treat you like a fucking god(dess) if u let them. not super good at social cues tbh. good friends to have if u need to be validated. need quality time.
virgo: y’all are lowkey hoes and give no fucks about it and it’s fucking great omfg. despite that, they maintain an endearing innocence and can be childish af when things don’t go their way but will love u until the end of time. great taste in music. super fucking smart but don’t show it off too often.
libra: jesus christ okay i love u guys. super understanding and will always try to see all sides of a situation. probably have been through a lot. aren’t afraid to call u on ur shit and are lowkey emotional shawtys that are still trying to find themselves. make really wonderful parents. get crazy excited over little shit and it’s fucking adorable.
scorpio: don’t fuck with these hoes unless u know urself first. will expose the parts of urself that u didn’t want to see. super gnarly in fights and will love u until the end of time. pretty standoffish and need time alone when emotionally unstable. keep themselves in amazing shape. are the loneliest fucks i know; be kind to them always. are probably in great shape (physically.)
sagittarius: craziest mofos out there. abandon all emotions before going into a situation and can be super impulsive. funny as fuck and always seem to be on another level. push themselves to the limit and usually forget to give themselves a break. ambitious and can get shit done when they need to.
capricorn: talk about a ride or die. y’all are loyal to the grave and are incredible friends. until u get fucked over. will probably make ur enemies’ life a living hell, sometimes over-the-top about it. can be v athletic. good writers/artists. really interested in spirituality and the ethereal realms. u guys know what to do in bed and flirt hard af. also so fucking funny oh my god.
aquarius: amazing friends. probably hate u. easily excitable. space cadets 4 life. rly good with animals and love food but probably restrict their eating habits in one way or another. a paradox in that they are fucking driven as hell to get shit done but give zero fucks at the same time. lowkey kinky af. want to kiss everyone.
pisces: emotional shawtys through and through. physically attractive as hell. not good at romantic relationships. won’t forget about u for a million years. keep their friends close but will push u the fuck away if they get scared. insecure and just want u to stick around.
Stop fucking reading me!
Nothing but facts ♊️
Capricorn
Capricorn ✊, we in here 👌
😈♈️
The signs as the poetry of Sappho
ChatAries: “Of thunder, in my ears.”
Taurus: “The greatest beauty earth can offer;”
Gemini: “—I have a childlike heart”
Cancer: “soft as she is”
Leo: “I desire and I crave.”
Virgo: “—I conversed with you in a dream”
Libra: “the brightness and beauty of the sun.”
Scorpio: “You burn me.”
Sagittarius: “But all is to be dared,”
Capricorn: “bittersweet, undefeated creature–”
Aquarius: “Softer than rainfall at twilight,”
Pisces: “What means this passionate grief,—”
How to love the signs:
ChatAries: Give plenty of reassurance even if they act like they don’t need it, make a point to gently pry even if they say they don’t want to talk about it, and always remember there is more sensitivity underneath an Aries than is shown. Encourage their dreams but keep them grounded, take them on adventures, and never take their romantic and chivalrous gestures for granted.
Taurus: Be loyal and dedicated, show them you won’t give up without a fight. Let them win the argument every now and again, to keep the peace. Never make a promise you cannot keep, show up when you say you will, and be reliable. Encourage them to express their discontent healthily, push past their comfort zone, and respect their strong opinions when you disagree.
Gemini: Don’t get impatient with their distractibility, always make time for a really great conversation, and be understanding during the times that they’re moody. Help them move past their insecurities, tell them that its not their job to please everyone, and always ask how their day was. Let them have some space but never let them be lonely.
Cancer: Listen to all the stories of their past, but be patient when they don’t want to tell them just yet. Speak the truth and don’t deceive, take them on romantic dates, and fill their ears with sweet words. Show them the optimistic side, never dwell on their flaws, and react gently. Give them the kind of loyalty they give you, be in it for the long haul, don’t run when it gets rough.
Leo: Build up their delicate ego, take pride in their accomplishments, be a part of their grandiose dreams. Tune into their softer and more sensitive side, and let them shine. Never call them out in public, give them time to cool down when they’re upset. Be concerned with their feelings, and don’t fall for them saying they’re fine if you know otherwise.
Virgo: Respect their private space, help calm them down when they’re feeling anxious, and even if you think its silly, let them do things in their way and have their particular routines. Appreciate their helpfulness, return their great loyalty, and don’t rush them; give them time to think things through. Be empathetic and understanding, allow them to open up slowly, and move at their pace.
Libra: Indulge their romantic side, go out in nature with them, enjoy the simple things in life. Write them a love letter, have a deep discussion, support their decisions and feed their confidence. Treat them the way you would want to be treated, don’t be overly critical, and make a point to accept them for who they are. Be open to their crazy plans and openly exchange idea’s.
Scorpio: Defend them and brag about them in public, do them little favors that make their life easier, and always try to show initiative and consideration. Don’t push them if they say they need space, and be there in the moments that they don’t. Encourage them to express themselves and not hold things in, and don’t ever betray their trust. Protect their secrets with your life.
Sagittarius: Be their partner in crime, let them explore everything. Don’t try to confine them, let them ramble about their thoughts and idea’s, always return their honesty. Don’t try to tarnish their optimism, push them to work hard to achieve their dreams. Make them laugh, be spontaneous, accept their quirks and be open to their unconventional way of seeing things in life.
Capricorn: Be trustworthy, consistent, and never flakey. Don’t let them get away with not talking about how they feel, prompt them to express their emotions more often. Be their biggest supporter when it comes to their goals and always make sure they make time for fun and its not all work. Let them have their private time every so often, and help them to de-stress and relax.
Aquarius: Be open to their advice, let them talk about their interests, be down for spontaneous adventures as well as cozy nights at home. Have a debate with them, become well versed in the things they are passionate about, and take up a hobby together. Always respect their space, let them have some independence. Be their best friend above all else.
Pisces: Listen to them talk about their fantasies and crazy dreams, reassure them, and always be genuine- don’t mislead. Be very affectionate, and never sweep feelings under the rug. Don’t let them get away with laziness, be kind and gentle in your words, and don’t abandon them. Encourage them no to people please and don’t disregard their intuition.
i don’t give a FUCK if astrology is fake or mbti isn’t accurate. i’m still gonna have a great time reading about my fake personality on the internet and there’s nothing anyone in the entire world can do to stop me
the signs, yo
StandardAries: Funniest rants, trust me; Seems like a badass, but they’re harmless until you seriously piss them off; Do not piss them off, their limits are usually reasonable and they will fight you; Unafraid to act, especially to defend you; Always thinking about what’s coming up next; Great at starting projects they never completely finish; Sincere friends.
Taurus: Big, sweet cow eyes; Honestly just hug them and never let go, it’ll be the best decision you ever make; Warm aura; They’ll embarrass themselves, but it’s endearing instead of cringe-worthy; Calm presence; Naturally reserved, but they will let you in if you genuinely care; Unintentionally funny; Some quality of theirs makes people look up to them.
Gemini: They try so hard, bless their hearts; Cutest clothes; One of you is going to have a crush on the other; Awkward in a way that makes tension disappear; Unintentionally attracts trouble; It doesn’t occur to them to not put up with your shit; Not very considerate to your emotions unless they’re helping you with a specific issue; Super passionate about their fandoms and interests; Someone you can always talk to.
Cancer: Fucking dweebs that will laugh over the most bizarre things; Will always love you; Messy; They genuinely want you to do your best; They deeply care about all of their friends, too; Give great hugs; Take everything personally and fully invest themselves; They might get too wrapped up in something that doesn’t seem important to you, but just be patient with them, they’re worth it.
Leo: Simultaneously the most self-absorbed and caring people; Lucious locks; So intimidating, but it’s all a big, fat lie if you’re friends; Would kill for you; Childish and immature; Can actually be very practical minded; Really wants you to like them, but they’re not going to try hard for your approval; Let them have the last word because they’re going to have it eventually.
Virgo: Sad eyes that know the dark secrets of the world; They don’t feel in control, yet they try to be; Organized and methodical; Outwardly cynical (but they secretly hope for the best); If you meet their standards, consider yourself lucky; Big sister who will always help you with your problems; Feels most comfortable in a dark movie theater; Listen to them because they know what they’re talking about; Surprisingly patient.
Libra: They have a story for everything; Loves to go out with their loved ones; They spend a lot of time thinking over ideas and concepts; DILF; Lifelong friend that you can always turn to; Confidence booster; Can be surprisingly selfish sometimes; Indecisive as fuck; They’re going to win you over before you even realise it; Silently judgemental, but this doesn’t mean they take sides.
Scorpio: 10/10 would bang; Could destroy you effortlessly; Lifelong struggle bus ticket holder; Romantic love is not their strong suit; Darkly magnetic; Shared looks and inside jokes will be abundant when you hang out; Do not fuck with their friends; I repeat: do not fuck with their friends; seriously; avoid this at all costs; These are the type of people who will burn your house down and steal your boyfriend; If you fuck them over, they will cut ties forever, even if they still love you.
Sagittarius: They’re best friend material; Lots and lots of friends but few close friends; Attractive/ Magnetic; You’re going to find yourself thinking about them later; Can go literally anywhere and fit in; Histrionic; Will not put up with your bullshit at all; They seem like an open book, but this is not the case at all; Take themselves a little too seriously; More loyal than you could ask for.
Capricorn: Sassy as hell; Sarcasm actually flows through their veins; You will admire them; Always seemingly stable; They have the soundest advice; Tend to think they’re always right, and they aren’t exactly wrong about that; If they love you, it’s true; Good listeners and friends; Grouchy is their default emotion; Lowkey SUPER competitive, just let them win because they will literally never let it go ever.
Aquarius: You will fall in love with them, even if it doesn’t last; They’re going to make you laugh; They try to be forgiving creatures; Lowkey super stubborn about things they believe to be right; Really, really good at one area of expertise; Detail oriented; They downplay their emotions; It’s hard to completely understand what they’re thinking about unless they explicitly tell you; Trust their gut because they’re going to be right.
Pisces: Hug them, please, they’ll really appreciate it; They’re probably going to fall in love with you, too; Trusting and trustworthy; Watch what you say around them because they’re very sensitive; Encourage them to trust their intuition more; They’ll be able to understand your feelings more deeply than any of the other signs; Insecure but so, so, so worthy; Would die for you; Sneaky; Need a favor? Call this babe.
the signs expectation vs reality
Standardaries expectation: always angry. wants to fight you. punches a wall
aries reality: their personality lights up the room, they can just be a little loud sometimes
taurus expectation: never leaves the house. eats food. emotionless
taurus reality: amazing friends, trustworthy little sweethearts- but comfort and security is very important to them
gemini expectation: two-faced hoe. never knows when to shut up. laughs at their own jokes
gemini reality: some of the most entertaining people out there, they can actually hold a conversation and make you laugh, although they can get carried away
cancer expectation: crybaby. innocent fluffball. emotional wreck
cancer reality: thinks about sex more than you would think, total babe, they can’t help that their emotions have a tendency to spill out
leo expectation: it’s all about me. me. me. aren’t i great? looks in mirror
leo reality: will always stick up for you, make better friends than people assume – they just crave approval from others in many things they do
virgo expectation: really smart. boring neat freak. always cleaning
virgo reality: also more sexual than you would think. it is true that they are perfectionists at heart, but that doesn’t always equate to organization and being detail-oriented
libra expectation: indecisive af. flirts with everyone. shallow bitch
libra reality: caring little beauties, more attached to their loved ones than you would assume
scorpio expectation: sex. murder. the hot bad boy stereotype in movies
scorpio reality: lonely sarcastic assholes (who you love anyway) who’s mood changes a lot. intense in everything they do
sagittarius expectation: asshole. can’t commit. always partying
sagittarius reality: one of the best friends you can have if they are loyal to you, always know how to have a good time. they know what they want in life, but are more unsure of the relationships that apply
capricorn expectation: boring workaholic. doesn’t know how to have fun. who even cares
capricorn reality: loyal friends with surprisingly great senses of humor. they know that you must work in order to succeed
aquarius expectation: alien creature. self centered weirdo. smart af
aquarius reality: cute lil goofballs. their minds are like a library of everything that appeals to them. however, they can feel isolated when their quirkiness separates them from the rest
pisces expectation: gives way too many fucks. doormat. little baby bunny
pisces reality: chill as fuck. wants everyone around them to be happy and will do what they can to make it happen
How the Signs will surprise you
StandardAries: They’ll always be willing to defend those weaker than them, even when all of the odds are stacked against them or the situation is terrifying – They actually are dreamers – Can’t tell a lie: either they’re no good at it or are unwilling to ever do it – When in a crisis, they can cool a situation like no one else – Brave but not when it comes to physical pain (probably hasn’t gone to the dentist in years and will whine if you try to make them).
Taurus: Despite their calm and peaceful nature, once angry their rage is unlike anything else and you probably won’t see it coming – Even though they’re typically stoic and calm they can still brood and pout like nobody else – Though they’re down to earth they can be very materialistic – Steady and stoic Taurus can feel very shy about their body.
Gemini: If you need help, Gemini will be the first by your side – Sometimes their advice will be so dead-on or out of character that it’ll blow you away – Their bubbly, playful, and sometimes irresponsible attitude may make it surprising when they start talking about quarks, RNA and DNA, or even Shakespeare – They may be the smartest person you’ve ever met and probably are – They’re awesome with kids and know how to talk to them.
Cancer: They can be silly, funny,the life of the party – They are actually pretty pessimistic – They’ll nearly bite your head off out of nowhere, even just asking a simple question, if they are feeling “crabby” – They are so expressive and good at communicating you’ll almost experience their feelings with them, even if you’re the most detached person alive – Friend, sibling, parent, no matter how they’re related to you they’ll hug you and kiss you, which may shock a friend or two – They can order around even the most stubborn people (Cancer is the Matriarch of the Zodiac for a reason).
Leo: They are remarkably generous to the point of self-sacrifice, they’ll give you a hundred bucks no questions asked – Despite their boldness and outgoing nature, deep down they often doubt themselves and feel insecure – They are remarkably romantic – They actually love to teach others in some way – Their optimism and faith are very beautiful – They can’t stand to feel weak and may hurt themselves by not going to the doctor when they need to.
Virgo: They can actually be a little vain – They are very good actors (and will use this to get out of going to that party you’re throwing) – They can become grumpy very suddenly, which doesn’t fit with their cool, calm, perfect exterior – They are very, very health conscious and will shock you with their knowledge of the human body, medicine, and/or psychology – They’ll help you, no questions asked, and expect nothing in return no matter how big the favor.
Libra: They can’t stand taking orders – They can actually be all over the place and very unbalanced, it takes time and maturity to become balanced – They can actually be pretty feisty and confrontational – They’re not always charming and flirtations, they can be indolent and completely unaware of others’ feelings – They don’t like to make decisions.
Scorpio: They are sexual but not sex-crazed maniacs – They can be intimidating with their piercing eyes, mysterious nature, and supernatural air but that doesn’t mean they’re dangerous, actually, they’re usually softies – You cannot insult a Scorpio, they are too sure to bother with you – They have steeled their face and show as little emotion as possible but feel very deeply – Scorpios are actually very heroic, they will risk their life and do so without regrets, no matter what – They are protective and gentle, especially of children and those in need.
Sagittarius: They are completely unaware of how their words hurt – They are dreamers and very creative – Though known for being strongly religious, they’ll grow skeptical as they age and mature – They will do anything, take any chance, when it comes to love – Despite how their words may hurt, they mean no harm, they would never intentionally hurt a friend.
Capricorn: They can party and laugh unlike anyone else – They have a good sense of humor, that is more than just sarcasm – They are loyal and will do anything for their friends – They are very soft, insecure, and sweet on the inside – They want to join in, they really do, but they’re afraid of how they’ll look – They greatly admire their friends – They want credit and success, but usually not the spotlight – They aren’t afraid of losing control or failure, they’re afraid of how you’ll look at them – They are unafraid of using others to reach success.
Aquarius: Intimacy may scare them – They are realists who still believe in magic – They can make a game out of shocking others – They’ll laugh at you for laughing at them, as Linda Goodman once wrote – They, like Scorpio, have an almost supernatural perception – They ask blunt and sometimes bizarre questions – They won’t even blink at the most bizarre of things.
Pisces: They can be emotional, but that doesn’t make them unable to handle the world around them or weak – They’ll smile through their tears – You can’t hurt them with an insult – Though they may seem to see the world through rose-colored glasses they are nowhere near naive – Despite their bright personality, despondency is always hanging over their shoulder.
HOW VENUS SHAPED YOUR HEART
Standard♈ ARIES // A fiery inferno. An organ set ablaze. Unimaginably hot and wildly untamable, fervently consuming all it is fed; the good and the bad. It radiates a heat that can thaw cold cheeks and frost from shivering lips – or engulf you, swallow you whole and leave you as nothing more than smoldering ash. This heart needs generous kindling and constant stoking. Never to be smothered or snuffed out. It beats in booming thunder, and bleeds in plumes of smoke.
♉ TAURUS // A whittled heart of knotty pine, with intricate floral patterns etched deep into its wooden surface. A lacquered finish makes it sleek and glossy. A natural beauty. Carved and hollowed out, so that it can collect all the beautiful trinkets it finds, and lock them away. This heart needs an antiqued key, and reliable eyes that can cherish each and every lovely treasure they’ve buried so deeply in their chest. It beats in gentle echoes, and bleeds in sweet, sticky resin.
♊ GEMINI // A gilded, golden cage, with ornate engravings on every spindly, metallic bar. Glinting and gleaming in playful light; it dazzles and draws many admirers near. However, if they step too close, or extend their fingertips to touch – the hundreds of tiny, frightened finches inside release shrill and frantic chirps from silver beaks. A flurry of ruffled, rosy plumage. This heart needs a patient hand to release the latch. To let the feathers fly, and simply listen as the birds sing. It beats in the flutter of wings, and bleeds in pastel sunrise.
♋ CANCER // Tessellated sea glass and elegant vintage lace; smooth and embellished with pearls that glow soft and argent like the moon. It contains the entire ocean, with all it’s depth and warmth and comfort. Churning, swirling, salty waves flood the arteries and fill it will the soulful beauty of the seas. A home for many – a drowning place for some. Love flows uncontrollably, unconditionally. This heart needs lungs that can breathe underwater. Hands both strong enough to carry it, and so gentle it won’t shatter. It beats in the ebbing of the tides, and bleeds in soothing moonbeams.
♌ LEO // Lustrous sunlight encased in crushed red velvet. Luxurious and sparkling. Bold and rich. It transfixes others adoration and desire with the scintillating light that leak from its seams. It brightens and blinds all those who gaze upon it. Illuminating only the pleasant things, and melting the affection it is fed. This heart needs amorous eyes that have never beheld such a wonder, and will never forgets it’s beauty. It beats in boisterous trumpets, and bleeds in liquid gold.
♍ VIRGO // Precision cut and polished clockwork. Burnished brass and copper coils. Silver springs and cogs and gears that mesh and mash in a complex, synchronized rhythm unlike any other. When well-oiled, love ticks and tocks effortlessly; consistent and hypnotic. It winds and unwinds as it chooses. This heart needs feet that can get lost in a waltz, but still keep time. It beats like a syncopated metronome, and bleeds in bubbling amber.
♎ LIBRA // A twinkling, paper lantern; thin as the wings of a butterfly, and just as weightless. It emits a faint glow from the romantic light flickering inside, yet drifts listlessly through the chest cavity – as though no love can pin it down. It can be folded and creased to look like all that intimacy should be – but isn’t. This heart needs real romance. To be held with grace and loving balance. It beats in charming laughter, and bleeds in floral perfume.
♏ SCORPIO // A twisted labyrinth of thorny vines and ruby flowers. Dark and intimidating, but oh-so alive and growing. Roots constrict and thorns prick to fend off deceitful lovers. But if they’re willing to bleed – each rose that blooms will do so just for them. An endlessly beautiful garden; secluded and full of the richest reds and luscious greens. This heart needs love that is true and unafraid of hurt; that will not let the petals shrivel or wither. It beats in whispered “I love you”’s, and bleed in twilight skies.
♐ SAGITTARIUS // A gluey patchwork of auburn leaves and borrowed things. Stitched together from pieces of foreign hearts to form a hot air balloon-like contraption. Tethered only by heart strings, and fueled by an single spark. Always eager to take flight, to feel new heights, and caress the clouds. This heart needs a skyscape that never ends. A spirit with no map. It beats in whistling fire crackers, and bleeds in afternoon sunshine.
♑ CAPRICORN // An impenetrable exterior of compressed coal; smoky black and unattainable. However, if one stays and chisels for years, they’ll discover this hardened stone is a literal diamond in the rough. A glittering, jewel encrusted cavern. Its walls and arteries lined with vast riches; emeralds and rubies and sapphires. Resplendent and full of love. This heart needs one worthy of holding such a valuable chasm. It beats in refined symphonies, and bleeds in the boldest red wine.
♒ AQUARIUS // A sparkling prism lodged ambiguously in the rib cage where a human heart should be. It’s crystalline surface clarifies the cloudy, and gives the dull new splendor. It isolates and captures the smallest, most imperceptible glints of light, only to reflect and dissect the spectrum of color in it no one else would ever notice. This heart needs eyes that can peer through a kaleidoscope and see new rainbows every time. It beats in neon flickers, and bleeds in cosmic stardust.
♓ PISCES // Wispy gossamer and creamy silk, loosely woven together like a dream catcher. A tattered tapestry of delicate, warm fabric; embroidered with strands of silver thread and tiny beads of amethyst. This heart absorbs all forms love, and unfortunately, all sorrows. It is stained with the fingerprints of every hand it’s held. Soft and sensitive; it should be handled with the most tender care. It beats in soothing lullabies, and bleeds in shimmering, lavender bubbles.