be the most jealous: scorpio, leo
be overly affectionate: cancer, taurus, virgo
listen to everything you say: aries, cancer, sagittarius, capricorn
buy you the most gifts: leo, aquarius, pisces
be protective: aries, gemini, scorpio
start fights over nothing: leo, sagittarius
do little romantic things: cancer, aries, libra
cuddle you literally all the time: virgo, gemini, leo
show you off: libra, aquarius, capricorn
relationships
Date a girl who has seen the end of your relationship. She has seen how it burns down into ashes, to be blown away like nothing was ever there.
Date a girl who loves you anyway.
You both happily marry and live on in marital bliss for the rest of your lives. Eventually, though, as is inevitable for all living things, your health begins to deteriorate with age, and you die peacefully in your sleep. There was no sadness upon hearing the news of your death, everyone knew it was time, and you had made peace with the world.
Many years earlier, you had made your final wishes known, and planned your cremation. You never liked the idea of being locked in a box six feet underground for the rest of eternity and especially disliked the idea of being pumped full of harsh and harmful chemicals, at high expense for your family.
The service was lovely, and your family and friends gathered in your home to tell stories about you and remember your life. Your friends and family then piled into your niece’s car and drove to the funeral home. People thought it was strange that your wife requested that she be able to be there when the cremation was to begin and that she be able to light the machine, but accepted it nonetheless. She saw it as a sort of final goodbye, a brief, personal way to send you off onto the next leg of your eternal journey, sending the atoms of your body back into the earth to create more beautiful things.
As she pushed that button and said her goodbyes, she remembered that she had seen the relationship end like this, in flames, crumbling into ash, and was glad that she decided to continue your relationship, realizing that both of you had become better people because of each other’s companionship.
Later on your wife decides to scatter some of your ashes in the garden near the flowers and trees that you had lovingly cultivated together, the fragments of your ashes floating away, off to create beautiful things for the entire human race.
4 Questions to Ask When Your Relationship Isn’t Working
1. Where do I need to love myself more?
2. What is it that I’m here to learn?
3. What is it that I believe about myself that this situation is showing me?
4. What can I do about it?
(Author Tracy McMillan on Oprah Super Soul Sunday)
have you ever had a weird sort of crush on one of your friends where you cant actually tell if its a crush or not??? do i want to kiss you?? do i just really enjoy being your friend????? who knows? not me
Hi there I’m here to unnecessarily add that this is called alterous attraction! It’s basically ambiguous attraction that’s indistinguishable between platonic and romantic and/or sexual attraction. It’s not uncommon to feel alterous attraction towards friends/squishes/crushes. This post describes it pretty well, actually. In my experience, it’s like… I’d be cool with dating this person but being their friend is just as good. Like I wouldn’t actively start a romantic relationship, but I wouldn’t turn one down. So yeah! Alterous attraction. It’s nice but confusing.
I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS A WORD FOR IT.
What the…there’s a freakin word for it woah
I’m so sensitive to the language of masculinity especially when it comes to my romantic relationships with men. I always felt like there was something wrong with me growing up because when I would have (specifically) men infatuated with me and ask them why, nothing they would tell me would make me feel good about myself. I always hear things like “You make me feel this X quality, which I normally don’t”. Is it so selfish that I would like to be liked because I am a good person? Not because I make you “feel like you can be yourself” or because I “make you feel young again”. I have been made to feel too much my whole entire life just by existing and being so deeply empathetic and passionate in my emotions and instincts because I don’t want to accept empty infatuation based off of the fact that someone thinks I am beautiful and I make them feel good about themselves. Love bred out of thinking that someone makes you better is selfish and in-genuine. What does that have to do with me? There’s a big difference between having a person be so magnetic and special that they inspire great things in you and thinking you need to possess someone mentally and physically in order to reach your full potential
I feel like there are a million people who need to understand this.
wow this breakdown is actually super helpful to think about
[Image. A piece of paper with two columns.
The first column is titled: Brutal Honesty. Underneath is the text:
Makes only the truth-teller feel good
Assumes stupidity of the recipient
Isn’t necessarily vital for the recipient to know
Is usually expressed spontaneously
Is said out of irritation with the other person.
The second column is titled: Loving Honesty. Underneath is the text:
Is difficult for both speaker and recipient
Understands that the recipient is intelligent and can make the best decisions about his/her life
Is vital that the recipient know
Is usually expressed after a great deal of thought
Is offered out of concern for the other’s well-being.”]
Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic
Frida Kahlo (via bl-ossomed)
10 Warning Signs for POC in Interracial Relationships
Standard1. If your significant other claims to, or is known to “have a thing” for men/women of your race.This is called fetishism, which generally consists of sexual/physical attraction based on stereotypes. For example: the “exotic” Asian/African women stereotype, the sexually potent Black male stereotype… If you’re with someone who just is “into” people of your culture, try asking them why.
2. If they have a friend with racist views.
Birds of a feather typically flock together, and when it comes to things like this, the rule still applies.3. If they don’t check (educationally confront) those friends when they express those views.
What you fail to speak against, is what you ALLOW to happen… I’ll leave it at that.4. If they don’t bring you around family members.
This is sometimes done to shield significant others from discrimination of family members… But beware, the mentalities of family members can be infectious…5. If they are ignorant of, or not making an effort to learn about you or the history/experiences of people of your ethnicity/culture.
Anyone who truly loves/appreciates a person will go out of their way to learn about the cultures which produced this person. That’s a no-brainer. When a person doesn’t make the effort to learn about the societal factors which shape the life of their significant other… that is a problem.6. If they claim to be “colorblind”, or that “race doesn’t matter” or any of that other so-called post-racial, fake liberal B.S.
A person who says this is lying. They’re not saying that race doesn’t matter to them…. they’re saying that deep analysis of such topics make them uncomfortable and for their sake they’d rather just ignore any differences. As the saying goes “being blind to race is just ignoring something that you already noticed.”
7. If you refer to dating them, or they refer to dating you as “trying something new”.
Doesn’t sound right to me… If you want to “try something new” try a new pair of shoes, or a new show on Netflix… But you don’t romantically try other ethnicities as if they’re flavors of Ice Cream, you experience people for who they are.
8. If you seem to be the only person of your race that they are fond of.
Do I need to explain this one?
9. If they cosign your criticisms of your ethnicity
I’ m not really a person who is big on criticizing members of my race when I’m around people outside of my race. Some discussions should stay “in the house” metaphorically speaking. But if you must talk about these kinds of these, your significant other should just be a listening ear. Anything more is out of line.
10. If they cannot, will not, are afraid to, or unable to have discussions on racism.
This is a symptom of a person who is living in denial, ignorance, or both. Either way, it ain’t healthy… Unless you’re in denial too, then y’all will probably get along fine.
I won’t lie to you: most of my visit to Sir over the holidays was pretty hard. I was living with him and his roommate, he was working long days and I was under a lot of stress regarding school stuff. Being apart had put a strain on our intimacy, had made us sometimes feel like strangers. It had been big years for both of us and, yeah, we’d changed. Worse, there was the looming reality of Sir’s leaving the country indefinitely for his job.
It was frightening. I thought we were over. We fought, we struggled to make things feel the way they used to. I didn’t want to write about anything on here because I guess I was a little embarrassed and worried about portraying him in a negative light or inviting criticism.
Months prior, I’d gone to a vintage record store while on a trip and found this. I’d planned on giving it to him as a cute little gesture for our anniversary. But as I went through the airport, they randomly searched my backpack, and while sifting through it I could hear the crack. I’d taken such care to slip it in a spot that kept it safe, and I knew right away it was broken.
It felt cheesy: that our D/s dynamic was struggling, our relationship was floundering, and my “To Sir With Love” had snapped the “Love” right out. Even cheesier: I couldn’t find the piece.
I’ll get into the good parts of the visit, there were certainly some. But the point is that there were the tough points. There were the points where I thought that I was walking in the wreckage of something that was already destroyed. I lost sleep worrying over it, I wondered where we’d messed up.
For our anniversary, he’d arranged for this really wonderful night right after the New Year, and now I was anxious about even making it to that. I even left town on New Year’s Day after being up till 4AM (that story’s coming, don’t worry) to spend time with a friend and just try to get clarity about the whole thing. And though I was worried about that night, that whole day I missed him. We’d had a good new years, though I knew that things were different, that we were very different people than a year before.
I got home and stopped trying to be that thing we were. I stopped attempting to recreate the old dynamic, to force every situation to meet old expectations. And then as I was packing for our night away, I found the stupid piece. I had to laugh a little, cry a little more.
Sir came home with roses and a pizza (wish I could share that photo) and after a late lunch, we headed over. We had good sex, we drank good booze, we made good conversation. I looked across the table at him out at dinner and felt that familiar tenderness. We woke up and made love, looking out the window at the city where we’d first met, where it first all came together.
And I knew that things were not entirely resolved, but I knew I had to fight for this, that of course these things would not just keep on because of the perfect coincidence of our meeting, that love wasn’t just a point on a timeline but a repeated action. I watched the runners and the tourists, the cars and the taxis, the city that had once felt as if it were ours but soon would be where neither of us lived anymore.
THIS IS SO CUTE.