rape tw
Did your friend go to the police? Or just make accusations on Twitter?
StandardI don’t know what a person’s personal reasons might be for choosing not to report a rape but there are many hurdles that victims face, and this kind of bullshit message is one of them.
This question just shows how ignorant you are about the realities of reporting rape or sexual assault to authorities. You’re making the dangerous assumption that police are always sensitive to victims and that reporting rape actually leads to consequences for the rapist. Generally (especially in certain parts of the world) it leads to further trauma for the victim. Many victims are in shock and processing the trauma of their assault, which can get in the way of getting to a police station immediately to report and complete a sexual assault forensics exam. Being ridiculed, criticized or blamed by police officers, getting naked for professionals to complete invasive exams on your private parts, having to defend your own rights, these are difficult and vulnerable things to do when you are reeling emotionally from being raped. Not only that but even if you still have the rapists ejaculate on or inside of you there is no way to “prove” that the sex was not consensual. (Not to mention the thousands of untested rape kits sitting in police stations all over the USA.) Even if you are believed and the authorities are supportive the long drawn out judicial process is generally in favour of the offender and comes at a great emotional cost to the victim.
I’m going to save my own sanity here and just cut and paste information from Rape Abuse Incest National Network’s website:
Only three out of every 100 rapists will ever spend even a single day in prison, according to a new analysis by RAINN of Justice Department data. The other 97 will walk free, facing no consequences for the violent felony they have committed. Because rapists tend to be serial criminals, this leaves communities across the nation at risk of predators.
While the percentage of rapes reported to police has risen in recent years, a majority — 54% — still are not reported, according to the Justice Department. But increasing reporting alone won’t solve the problem: only about one out of four reported rapes leads to an arrest, and only about one out of four arrests leads to a felony conviction and incarceration.
RAINN’s new analysis is based on the most recent available Justice Department data, using an average of the five most recent years when available. Based on older data, RAINN had previously estimated that about 6% of rapists ultimately go to prison for their crime.
“This staggering statistic sends a clear message to offenders that they can commit this horrible crime and get away with it. The single most important thing we can do to prevent rape is to put more rapists in prison,” notes Scott Berkowitz, RAINN’s president and founder. “That’s why we have made it a priority to pass the SAFER Act and eliminate the backlog of untested DNA evidence from open rape cases.”
Of course I would encourage all victims of rape or sexual assault to go to the authorities and press charges, rapists deserve to be held accountable, but I also understand the realities of taking these steps and why many victims choose not to.
AND before you start going off on how it’s unfair and men are falsely accused of rape, let me remind you that false accusations account for between 2 and 7% of all reported rapes. Which means your statistical odds of being falsely accused of rape as a man are negligible. In fact men are more likely to be sexually assaulted themselves than to be falsely accused of rape. Meanwhile 1 in every 6 women in the USA will experience ACTUAL rape. And that statistic is specifically for rape, the number skyrockets if we include all sexual assaults.
So ask yourself this; what do you gain from not believing someone who says they are raped? What do you gain from requiring proof? KEEP IN MIND THAT RAPISTS GAIN PLENTY FROM THE FACT THAT OUR KNEE-JERK REACTION AS A SOCIETY IS TO DISCREDIT VICTIMS!
TLDR; You’re a douche bag for sending this message.
If I were raped I know for certain that my lifestyle choices and my cheeky “slut pride” posts would be used against me. My ass on the internet would be seen as evidence that I might have said yes. My “no” would matter less because I write about all of the sex I love to have. There would be members of my own family who would say “Well what did you expect?” People who know me and love me would secretly question the validity of my claims, they would wonder what my motive was or assume the story had two sides. There would be folks who follow my blog who would see it as a cautionary tale, they would reassure themselves that they are safe because they do not follow my footsteps. “That’s what you get” would be uttered, either out loud or under breath.
My rapist would say he didn’t do it. People would believe him.When I walk alone at night and someone is following me too closely, or when I flirt with a stranger at a bar with handsome blue eyes and a nice smile, I worry like most girls do that the worst thing might happen. But alongside that worry is another; if it happened I would be blamed.
No matter what your relationship is with sex, no matter how much you have, or what kind, or with whom, you are entitled to say no at any time. Your body is yours. Your “no” is valid.
Guys, Stoya just basically put everything on the line here. I really admire her courage, and I know what’s ahead for her is going to suck like crazy.
It’s scary to me that people can hide behind pretending to be progressive and feminist, can use these labels as a disguise for some fucked up stuff. I’ve encountered two people in my kink experience that have wound up to be rapists masquerading as feminists, and it’s not only fucking terrifying, but it’s even harder for survivors’ experiences to be viewed as legitimate. It’s also profoundly fucked up that people, like Deen, use feminism as a tool to get victims to trust them.
So I stand with Stoya.
This shit right the fuck here.
Fuck every single one of you rape apologists. YES people are raped by their boyfriends. It happens all the fucking time. In fact you’re far more likely to be raped by your boyfriend or husband than some stranger on the street at night. YES sex workers are raped. The fact that our culture dehumanizes sex workers makes them more vulnerable to rape, and also to negative backlash if they speak out against it. Any rhetoric that sounds like “what did she expect” or “are you sure it was rape” is cruel and ignorant. You know rape when you feel it. You can’t fucking forget it. No means no. A safe word means stop, it means this is not safe. Silence and limp lifeless lack of response does not mean yes. It does not even mean maybe. Anyone who does not follow those rules is a rapist. Sex with out consent is rape. Regardless of the fucking details.
My friend Stoya did a fucking brave and admirable thing and spoke out today on twitter about her rapist. I stand in solidarity with her, she is not alone. I’m sending her and so many other survivors love and healing thoughts today.
It’s important to support this type of courage.
wow. all the support in the world right now. fuck this.
I’m here for the girls who unwillingly consented to sex or sexual acts because they were in a situation where they didn’t feel as if they had the right to say no and now feel violated but don’t feel like they can say they were raped or molested.
this is probably one of the most important text posts i have ever seen because i feel like this is a HUGE issue among teenagers especially young girls in today’s social culture and nobody talks about it. nobody tells you that you were in fact abused and sometimes it takes you years to finally realize what happened to you was wrong, and it’s really scary and confusing! we need to teach each other that “rape” or “molestation” can happen in many circumstances and not just the ones we are taught!!!!
“Victim blaming actually invites more crime.” – lacigreen
(via SHE ASKED FOR IT.)