I’ve been fairly frustrated by the alienating whiteness of kink, and the many ways that, even in spaces explicitly committed to consent, racial oppression continues on.

That said, in its best moments kink has been an opportunity to embrace my vulnerability and experience the support from which black women are often discouraged. Negotiating and participating in scenes has offered me deeply expressive moments to explore and communicate my strength, my skills, my softness, and my own selfhood from a multitude of axes.

BDSM has helped me develop a voice I didn’t know I was allowed. Other kinksters of color have helped me feel more secure in it.