One of the things that held me back from actively exploring BDSM and kink for years is that I didn’t see it portrayed in a way that appealed to me, or spoke to my tastes and desires. All of my early exposure was the typical black leather, serious dom, slave style submission. It didn’t resonate with me, I didn’t see myself in it. And then I found tumblr and was exposed to a lot more content that was made by women or curated by women, a ton more queer content, a fuckload more feminist content, personal narratives that showed kink in real life contexts rather than on porn sets or fancy photoshoots. Through those avenues I started to find other bratty submissives and little submissives, play pets and do-it-yourselfers, lady doms and femme daddies and gender queer tops and bottoms. I learned more about versatility and fluidity, spectrums and authenticity. I found kink aesthetics and dynamics that suited me, that felt right, that appealed to my senses. I found porn that turned me on and made me excited. I learned that a dynamic is whatever you build between you and your partner(s).
As long as there is consent there’s no wrong way to do it. It doesn’t have to be the polished demure face you see in black lingerie and serious faces, it can be messy and cute and loud and varied and queer as fuck. There can be boatloads of laughter. It can be whatever feels good for you. My cuffs are pink and my flogger is white and sometimes I’m a naive little bunny girl and sometimes I’m a Pretty mean Daddy, but either way I can guarantee you that my hair is messy and I smile. And my kink fits me, and I’ve found partners who it fits as well, and we figure it out as we go and build on the parts that feel right until we have something that we love and can’t get enough of. Do it your way, make it your own, grow and learn and change when it feels good. Your sexuality is as unique as your fingerprint.
