Me: I’ve really gotta quit… But what will I do with 5 months of down time until my next gig starts?

Bird: you could be a pro-domme!

Me: Then I’d have to look nice all the time. I hate that. Can’t I be like a sweatpants domme? Can I make that a thing?

Bird: THAT DEFEATS THE WHOLE PURPOSE! (Insert long rant that I stopped listening to.)

Me: … So yes? You’re going to love what I wear on our next date.