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A Story with No Purpose, Part III

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When he approaches me, I am already spacey and sad. I’m watching to make sure my friend doesn’t get kidnapped from the play party. It’s her first public scene, and we’ve decided it’s best she be tied up and beaten to tears with a coal shovel where I can see her. For safety’s sake.

The first time he approached, I made eye contact. He wants me to top him, and I turn him down in the regretful tones that women use to avoid being murdered. Ever helpful, he offers to come by again later.

Later arrives, and I don’t even look up from her scene to reject him. He lingers, making conversation with himself. “Black pussy tastes so much better than white pussy,” he says, as though it’s a compliment. He leaves shortly afterward. He does not give his comment a second thought.

I will think about this exchange every time I consider topping.

A Story with No Purpose, Part II

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Last week, I attend a workshop. I’m acquainted with the volunteer who is signing me in: a bit of a brat, enjoys villain play and chocolate, orgasms adorably. None of these details hold any relevance, but the intimacies exist.

I doubt they know my name. And at the moment, they need my membership card.

Before I can provide it, three people hug me from behind. We’re acquainted. Each has used their cock on me in the past, and even now–long after–they’re smiling at me. It’s been a pleasure. We exchange greetings, promptly followed by rushed negotiations. It’s been a pleasure.

I am wearing too much lipstick. It is the best lipstick I have ever done. Later, I kiss it off in front of everyone in attendance. A pleasure.

A Story with No Purpose, Part I

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I went to my first kink event over two years ago: an introductory flogging workshop. I went with a close friend. Each flogger was described and passed around the room. As we held them, testing the sensations against our own thighs and arms, we repeatedly made eye contact.

Yes, I said wordlessly. I have not been pretending.
This is me.

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he: *cums before he means to (even though he’s already gotten me there several times because #me)*
he: I’m sorryyyy.
me: Oh, I don’t care. It’s hot when you can’t control yourself.
me: I like it when you’re overcome.
he:
me: Ba-dum cha.
he, hands raised in disgust: I’m marrying this woman.

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Dis me.

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I had a minor epiphany / remembrance / rediscovery last night about why I don’t speak up for myself. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot this year and also my whole life.

Yesterday I was out eating sushi with ladybae, and some grown crusty white woman was standing between us and the next table having a very long, very animated conversation with the most extra woman I have ever met in my life*. And in the heat of their conversation, she was essentially putting her ass on my elbow. Literal physical contact. And no matter how much I moved my elbow, she was moving deeper and deeper into my personal space.

And I didn’t say anything. I didn’t do anything, except to make increasingly gif-worthy faces to ladybae about the casual privilege that white people continue to exert into my space throughout my entire existence – until she politely spoke up and asked the woman to move.

So we deconstructed this a little bit later, and I told ladybae that I don’t know how to regulate my tone the way that she was able to. And I realized that, as sweet and kind and bend-over-backwards people-pleasing as I can appear when I put on my impersonal public self, it is mostly because I can never modulate between that and Absolute No Chill Next Level when I’m upset. I had a conscious thought in the restaurant that if I opened my mouth, something crazy and 100% Too Much would come out (like seriously just mid-thought screaming, when you think you’re saying something acceptable but everyone in the room cocks an eyebrow), so I didn’t say anything.

I have memories of being very young and deeply regretting misspoken words and off-kilter tone for months and years with deep shame and eventually making the conscious decision to always think before I speak. Working at it for a long time. Developing a pause.

So now I’m stuck at the other end of the spectrum, constantly holding my breath.

*Mrs. Extra later interrupted our conversation to ask ladybae – regarding her ginger – “You’re don’t eat it?!!”, and then, after hesitant assent from my buddy, proceeded to grab it wasabi-and-all off lb’s plate with a full fist and it was actually INSANE??????

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So this is where I’m at.

TES Fest 2015 Scene- Fucking in the Courtyard

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zanythoughts:

Sunday afternoon at TES Fest was progressing and I had finished teaching my bodywork class in the morning with my sweet and yummy pet, MrFluttershy. switchette had shown up to greet me after my class in which I tortured her pal ohokaybueno. She had bruises on her outer thigh from the point of my elbow on the ITband. My pointy elbow is pointy.

I had asked switchette to check every so often if I had water recently as part of her service to me. I am mostly decent at hydrating at cons, but it was wonderful every time she asked me, “have you had any water recently?” Her genuine interest pouring through and then my remembrance of my instructions to her. It made me smile and proud to know that switchette remembered to ask such a simple thing.

switchette was looking delicious in her pink gingham top, light denim dress and pearl necklace. I admit to being a bit speechless and maybe a touch blushy. We packed up the class stuff and made our way out to the courtyard. There we met up with MrDream, GleefulAbandon, WildNutmeg & Jinx.

As the courtyard space/ hotel was for TES fest attendees for a couple more hours people took the opportunity to strip down and sunbathe naked. As I already have freckles on my freckles, I took the time they were laying out to compose myself and hydrate- as well as perv on my friends. switchette took the denim dress off to reveal the pink gingham shirt to be a unitard with snaps hiding in the crotch-area. I think I coughed and walked away as an effort to calm myself.

I had earlier in the week made an teasing comment in chat to switchette previously about wanting to fuck her as zero in the courtyard at TES Fest. This question was met with a clear deep mewling reaction that indicates she really wants something to happen. Upon encountering this response I knew I wanted it just as badly as she did.  A few days before the event I asked her to consider if she wants to do this with me and to let me know- I wanted to make sure her agency in deciding was intact.

The details of the dynamic we have are pretty complex, but the short simple version is when switchette is within zero- headspace, she is in service to me and calls me Sir, or Major Morgan, the third of this dynamic is Lieutenant P., whom zero has been ordered to refer to as Ma’am or Lieutenant. I am so pleased with her progress in training with us.

My love MrDream, GleefulAbandon and WildNutmeg went off to teach a class. I asked when the courtyard would be open to regular guests and found out 3pm. It was a little before 2pm, so I asked switchette if she wanted to do the scene and was met with a YES please reaction. Jinx and ohokaybueno

had asked if they could perv nearby on the scene and we agreed that was fine.

After negotiating I made sure I had all my safer supplies nearby and we started.

switchette kneeled in front of me ready to give what I had to offer. Her eyes were already glazed over, mouth slightly open. I brought her down to an even deeper state of trance but suggested she’d be able to experience everything fully and let me know if anything needed adjusting.

“How badly do you want me to fuck you?” I asked.

“Very much, Sir. Please fuck me Sir.” zero pleaded.

I took zero by the hair and made her crawl around in a small circle before coming back to the towel we were using. I could hear her little moans and could taste her want and her need of this. I unbuttoned her unitard feeling her wetness and knowing exactly where it belonged. I took one end and shoved it into her mouth. Doing so was met with a low moan.

I had her turn away from me and after some warm up, put my njoy plug in her ass. I changed my gloves and started fucking her pussy with my fingers. After getting three inside I decided to give her a little taste. I removed her leotard from her mouth, held out my hand and had her crawl for it. She caught up and I told her she was my good girl, and proceeded to have her suck my cock a bit. I was making her count and thank me for each orgasm and she was up to five or six so far. I understand how multiple orgasms work, but I gave her a hard time, “is it five or six zero?! Tell me the truth!”

After fucking her doggy style for a while with my strap on, zero had gotten to eight orgasms. I was riding her cunt from behind while holding her mouth open fish hook style. I told her to imagine her Lieutenant’s cock sliding in and out of her mouth, being such a good fucktoy and airtight for us. She moaned and came hard again. (I will state that that hasn’t happened with the Lieutenant, and this is the first time zero and I have fucked, for the record.)

I knew that we soon would have to pack it in due to muggles showing up soon, so I had an idea. I asked her friends to keep time and she could come as much as she could in 2 minutes, she just would have to count aloud and thank me properly.

I turned over and let zero straddle and then sink down on my cock. She was lost to her pleasure in these moments, and I was lost in my experience of this amazing creature riding me.

“Time!” Our friend said.

She had 13 fucking orgasms. “You are such a lucky girl, zero.”

“Thank you Sir.”

“Thank you for your service zero! You have made me very proud.”

I am so fucking fortunate, and these experiences made me come crazy hard. What occurred after this is between switchette and myself.  I plan to ruin her in the future for real, but this was a lovely and delicious taste for both of us.

As you all know, I am a chaste & celestial unicorn babe.

That said, this was an incredibly hot scene with a correspondingly hot write-up, and I’m very thankful to zanythoughts for suggesting it, executing it, sharing it with me, and reporting on it.

I want so much to tag on details from my own perspective, but it’s far too intimate to put here. (Which is kind of hilarious given the context, but also true to me.) I’ll just add a few details that seem personally important:

  • The courtyard was an open, public, outdoor space. Friends aside, it was filled with con-end people just chatting and chilling and surrounded by hotel room windows sporting practiced and able voyeurs. And no, I am not an exhibitionist. Like. At all.
  • The outfit that Zany so lovingly described was one of the odder ones I wore that weekend. I’m not a little, and it didn’t fit easily into a traditional kink aesthetic. But it had been a combination on my mind for a while, and it was so fully what I needed that day. Demure. Surprising. Substantial. I’m glad it could contribute to their enjoyment. And also mine. Since they just straight-up put the crotch in my mouth approximately 5 minutes in.
  • I don’t think you understand. I was crawling on the grass, people. To taste myself! And there were mad red ants out there!!! #commitment
  • I am not generally a loud partner – in sex or much else – so the sobbing, humping, grateful, not-really-there-anymore thirteenth orgasm that I screamed across the courtyard while Zany suggested I imagine someone else’s cock in my mouth was perhaps my loudest? And that thought is unapproachably complex and irresistibly fascinating and makes me wet and deeply embarrassed.

So. Yeah. Bye.

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10 People You Want to Know Better Tag ~~~~~~
tagged by ohokaybueno
name: Have you seen how much wild porn I reblog? Nahhhhhh.

date and time: July 16th 11:34 am

average hours of sleep: 6-7 hours, though these last few days its been considerably less.

last thing i googled: “mongodb nodejs” *flutters eyelashes*

nickname: Is derivative of my real name, so nah? But when I was a kid, I was obsessed with giving myself new names, mostly related to my blackness and desired coolness: Imani, Kenya, Eclipse, etc.

birthday: 12/02. 100% centaur forever.

gender: woman

height: 5′4″/5′5″

favorite color: Colors are all really beautiful if you think about them enough. A colleague once guessed, “It’s green. No, you’ll say it’s grey because ~you’re you~, but actually it’s purple.” And he was fucking spot-on, too. At that time in my life, anyway. So I’ll just say cerulean or deep magenta?

one place that makes me happy: It’s Iceland. But if I have to pick a closer second place, my childhood park. Or in a library. Those are the three.

How many blankets do i sleep under? One comforter – no matter what the weather. No sheet. Sheets suck. When it’s really hot, I’ll be in my underwear and put just a corner of the blanket over my belly.

favorite movie: These sorts of questions are always so difficult. At the moment, Dope. But The Fifth Element and A Little Princess and Tank Girl are always on the list.

what are you wearing right now? Bra and panties, but I have to get dressed in the next fifteen minutes for an interview.

last book you’ve read: Cunt by Inga Muscio

most used phrase: Maybe “the fuck I look like”? I don’t know what it is right now. Ask ladybae. (That’s not the phrase. It’s a recommendation.)

First word that comes to mind: spaghetti (I was dreading this.)

favorite beverage: Shamefully, Dr. Pepper, though I don’t drink much of it at all. Also Jarritos piña.

favorite food: There’s a chicken sandwich at a place in San Francisco that I literally dreamed about for 9 months. I stayed an extra night in a hotel for that sandwich. And it was worth every bite. *sigh*

last movie i watched at the theater: Inside Out, which was a really good cure for con drop.

dream vacation: I have a list of these, but the one closest to the top is a winter trip back to Iceland. Maybe a long weekend, nothing too fancy, but I want to be there when it’s 20 hours of twilight a day and there’s a chance to see the Northern lights. I want to be miserably cold in the most beautiful place on Earth.

dream pets: I want a Rottweiler. But I don’t want to take care of it or pay for it, I just want to snuggle it and have it be my cool, funny best pal. So I don’t think that’s going to work out right now. (Why yes, I do feel the same way about children.)

dream job: As it was in the beginning, so shall it always be: mad scientist.

My tags are some people I know, and some people who I don’t know but whose blogs I enjoy: hypno-sandwich, zanythoughts, black-supremafeminist, keyzwolfe, egyptique, ourlexielove, herdirtylittleheart, petiteproserpina, brightswitch, badlittlekitten, and anyone else who wants to, obvs.

(I normally ignore this sort of thing, so you should all feel free to do the same.)