Originally published elsewhere on July 18, 2011
A common question I am asked is “What do you get out of sadism?” or “Why do you enjoy causing pain, humiliation, degradation, domination, etc.?”. I’m not sure there are any easy answers to these questions, but I am so very interested in exploring it. I don’t necessarily believe that humiliation or domination is the same kink as sadism, but for me they are very much intertwined. So for the purpose of this discussion I am going to speak to all of my kinks that are related to physical and mental sadism.
A first clue lies in the fact that I get similar enjoyment from mental anguish experienced by a consenting partner as I do from physical suffering. The suffering that shadows the eyes of someone licking cum off the floor triggers an excitement in me rivaled by the thrill of feeling the primal resistance of a body fighting against the pain of my teeth sinking deep into their flesh, or the twitch of a body receiving painful cane strokes. it is the suffering of the mind that brings my blood to boil. Suffering of the flesh is just the match to gasoline of the torturing of the mind, and this I believe is the reason I can take my pleasure at a distance. That is right, I can engage in and celebrate that darkest of kinks, “Long Distance Play”. I also have found that I can to a great degree receive satisfaction from watching someone else or even in some instances just knowing about someone else torturing another. But I suspect I am not alone in this.
Curious is the fact that I see to feel no distinction in the torturing of those who accept it as a type of service play, or a true masochist or pain-slut. It may be because in my experience even those that take great pleasure from the pain, or humiliation or even simple submission must process the thoughts or sensations that are naturally rejected by the human body and brain, and reprocess these into pleasure, even if it is quite subconsciously. Even the masochist can be heard to say ouch.
I am well aware that there are plenty of folks that will take umbrage with me uniting dominance and sadism for the purpose of this discussion, and I cannot argue that for others dominance can exist as a fulfilling kink on its own outside any sort of sadistic pleasure. However, for me, they are intertwined. This also addresses a common misconception about me and possibly other sadists that can take their play to edgy extremes. It is a question of how I/we can take equal pleasure playing with a newbie or very light player. Simply, the pleasure is in the suffering. for some folks even a light spanking can be very difficult to bare. That difficulty is what inflames me.
I truly do not know if I can answer the question of why? Why do I love to see you cry, to beg? Why do I want you to suffer? But make no mistake I do. And one of the greatest revelations of my life is that there are folks that want to suffer for me. Folks that want to look up at me pleading while my hand over their mouth and nose deny them breathe.
So I turn the question. Why do you want to hurt for me?
If you’re a sadist or masochist who just scrolled past this, then seriously—go back up and read. It’s worth it. -TRG
