You enter a brightly light, nondescript room. In the center of the room is a cat. The cat is screaming about something.
>_
>PET
You cannot reach the cat.
The cat’s screaming continues.
>_
>SCREAM IN COMPLIANCE.
The cat may want to converse with you. You scream at the cat unintelligibly, as loudly as possible.
The cat seems unperturbed, and responds to your scream by screaming more loudly.
>_
>THROW MOUSE TOY AT CAT
You notice a cat toy on the floor nearby. Hastily, you pick the toy up and toss it to the cat. Unfortunately, you aim poorly in your haste and strike the cat in the face with the toy.
The cat stops screaming. She is not pleased.
>_
>SUMMON DOG
Though you have no magical powers that you are aware of, you approach the cat and attempt to cast a spell of Summon Dog. Surprisingly, a small dog appears near the cat.
The cat, perhaps surprised by the dog’s sudden appearance, begins screaming again.
>_
>OFFER FOOD
Nearby is a small container of cat food. You present it to the cat, who immediately consumes the entirety of the container and promptly falls asleep.
You have reached the end of the Cat Ownership Simulator. Thank you for playing. For a more realistic experience, we recommend playing the Cat Ownership Simulator every day for the next 15 to 20 years.
based on the assumption that human blood can survive in a vampire for about the same amount of time it can in a human body, vampires would only need to feed three or four times a year (red blood cells live about 110 days on average). this would be if they completely drained all their victims.
humans can survive losing up to about 40% of their blood, which means that a vampire pushing their limits with each victim would probably need to feed 12 times a year minimum
so like once a month
Hey guess what else happens once a month involving blood
omg no
Now that’s recycling
“Actually, period blood would be really good for a vampire; it’s incredibly nutritious, because it’s supposed to feed a foetus! And it’s probably the cleanest blood in the human body. It’s sterile.” My wife contributed.
