here’s what happens when you call out white feminists
[start transcript]
Hey, Snapchat. My eyebrows are on, but I’m about to go the fuck off—because I’m sick—fucking white feminists.
So long story short, I asked why a show that’s all about “championing feminism” ignores women of color and makes fun of Asian women? And then, while everyone was sitting there patting themselves on the back for how “progressive” this show is, like, the black dudes are the punchline, in it?
So afterwards, the moderator comes up to me, to white-splain to me what it “really” was about. And this woman—whew! “We’re not fetishizing black men because, you know, as a Jewish, plus-sized woman, black men really love me, and I’m just speaking my truth!” When the punchline is, “I’m too fat for cute white guys, but black dudes will fuck me because they’ll fuck anything,” you’re a fucking racist!
And what I’m not here for is so-called white feminists white-splaining to me how “I don’t understand” what they meant. No, I understand! And what really got me fucked up, is when this woman said, “Well you know, it’s true, black guys love me,” I was like, “I have to go.” She, like, wouldn’t let me leave!
The moderator, Jill Soloway, cornered me, and would not fucking let me leave, because they were so desperate to absolve their white guilt and make me understand that they weren’t racist.
Jill Soloway’s ass had the fucking nerve to say to me, “Yeah, we should be intersectional. I think women and people of color need to work together!” I’m like, “Bu—but—women of color?!” You clearly don’t understand what intersectional feminism is if when I ask you why isn’t your show intersectional, your response is to separate women and people of color.
Then—this is what killed me—then she had the nerve to be like, “You know, I’ve been looking for intersectional voices, but I can’t find them. Where are they? Just, where are they?” Hi, um, so yeah, I’m here with the Sundance Serial Content Lab, and I have a web series at MTV, and I just accepted my first TV writing job, so—here?
I am so fucking sick of these women patting themselves on the back for calling out the patriarchy while being fucking racist. And what pisses me off, is even when I don’t curse, and I’m so professional and complimentary of your work, you still gaslight the fuck out of me! And this is why respecability politics are not shit. Cause even when I don’t curse, and I play nice and compliment your work, y’all still treat me like the fucking angry black woman.
And, like, Emmy-winning Jill Soloway like, invited me to her house, to like, be her friend, like. I don’t wanna be your fucking friend. Like, fuck your white guilt.
It just sucks, cause it really takes a lot of—like I was really, really fucking upset that these women treated me like this. And I’m the one that has to be professional, because I wanna work in this business, but I don’t wanna compromise my morals, but that’s what you have to do to fucking get a check.
I’m, like—I wanna make a video about this, but, like, I just—I’m so tired of being the only person that, like, says anything, you know what I mean? It’s exhausting. And it’s alienating. And it’s lonely. And, like, I just wanna make, like, smart shit. I wanna be able to watch something and not be shit on.
It’s 2016. There is no excuse. If some racist shit—shitting on Asian women and black men slip through your show—that tells me there are no people of color on your staff. You can throw a stone in any direction and see a talented person of color out here. Like, come on.
You’re gonna look me in my face and tell me that “you can’t find any intersectional feminists anywhere”? You aren’t looking.
As a black person, since I was a child, it became very clear to me that black people are not seen as positive in this society. I coped with that in many ways. On of those ways was through self hatred that I’ve had to deprogram over time. As an extension of that, however, I became very used to stereotypes, racial slurs and having my race be the thing that people call out/disrespect the moment they have a disagreement with me.
Doing what I do now and being somewhat visible, the harassment and stalking I experience is pretty intense. It’s pyschological and it’s constructed all with the intention of poking at those wounds that anti-blackness in this country has created. When you deal with that so much and so often, you get to the point where what at one point scared you or made you upset or made you feel uncomfortable, now is humorous to you. When a person calls me an ape, a nigger or a sheboon, I can only find those comments to be… uncreative, uninteresting and predictable. Like I said, my race is something I’m used to people trying to use against me, so at a certain point you just get thicker skin and learn to laugh at the simplicity of their thought process. These people utilize anti-blackness because it’s easy and because society confirms it for them. So as a black person, you learn how to stand on your own two feet and not rely on confirmation from society, specifically from white people, to understand that you are all you need. Perserverence is a part of the black experience in America and so many places around the world.We’ve had to have it for survival and it’s made us stronger, especially when we’re dealing with intersections of gender or sexuality.
So when I engage in these conversations about race and discuss how white people benefit from anti-blackness and their response that conversation is to throw a fit… to be honest, it’s hilarious. Because unlike a white person,I am used to being othered. I’ve accepted being othered. I’ve accepted that this is part of the world I live in, but they’re accostumed to being seen as standard. They’re used to everyone pandering to them so the moment they hear a criticism, it sounds far harsher than it actually is. I could hear how niggers are out of control and need to pull up their pants, stop having children and just start acting right verbatim over and over again from several people and LAUGH. These people hear a snide joke about mayonaise and they fall to the ground like someone took their xbox away. Like… it’s hilarious and it’s a great example of how i’ve become so accostumed to the hate that exists in this country and they just honestly wouldn’t be able to deal. As a black person you become very aware of your race. Most white people live almost exclusively around other white people. So race is something they don’t even really think about or question unless they live around people of color. So many people entering into social media spaces where the voices of people of color who have historically suffered because of how whiteness is framed, are complaining about white people they feel soooo attacked. BUt these people don’t even get that while we’re discussing police brutality, housing and employment inequality and sexual violence… they’re complaining about being called a name or a post on tumblr or some other social media website. We actually have to worry about racialized violence while you can always log off and walk away. When you look at it all, it’s funny and really childish.
These same white people are always discussing how the past is the past and how history is history. Well, if the past is the past, are you willing to reliquish any money passed down to you from your older family members? Are you ready to stop respecting your great grandfather who fought in the war? Are you willing to give up property that belongs to your family? It’s sucha foolish thing to say. The past impacts us now and that’s why we’re discussing these things. Do not mistake an increased visibility on these issues with “blacks are just complaining too much”. No we’ve been talking, but social media has empowered us. We excell at it and that’s why every trending topic usually starts with us.
I hate each and every white person that’s shifted uncomfortably when they catch sight of me.
I hate the old white lady that called me scary last week in the airport during security checks.
I hate the white professor that stopped lecture to put her hand in my afro and exclaim how soft it was, prompting my peers to want a turn touching me.
I hate the Southern white men that stuck their head out of their window to call my mother “n****r”.
I hate my ex-friend who used me as her token colored friend when she was called out for her anti-Asian racism.
I hate the Xenophobic, racist white folks at my Dad’s job for abusing their power to withhold his money and shut him out.
I hate the drunk white girls who have touched and pulled my hair without permission.
I hate each and every white person that has asked me to teach them to dougie/twerk.
I hate every white person that has asked if I wanna be a rapper or play a sport.
I hate the old white woman that called me a “n****r prostitute” while I was minding my business and shuffling along to class.
I hate my Dad’s ex-boss for looking at my body in a sexual manner when I was 13 years old bc black girls don’t get childhoods. I hate him for doing it in front of my father.
I hate the white people that hate the Blackout bc they think it’s racist to celebrate yourself and they can’t fathom that not everything is for/about them.
I hate the white men that ruined my time abroad in Italy with verbal and sexual assault because I was a black girl.
I hate all the white girls that tried to write off the aforementioned assault as ‘no big deal’ because ‘at least I was getting attention’.
I could literally go on but the point I’m trying to make is that I hate white supremacy and if you actively uphold it in any way, shape, or form, then–well, you get the hint I’m sure.
No one ask me this surface level question ever again please.
I love you @marissarei and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I had some asshole dude from Germany back in highschool call me a monkey
I had these white girls tell me that “they’re glad they aren’t black because they don’t have to do much with their hair” and then I hated them even more because some black girls thought it was okay
I vehemently am wary about white people. I think ALL white people are racist till proven otherwise and I think ALL white have their prejudice about races ingrained in their mind.
Honestly though, this is why I don’t allow anyone to call me an “alternative black girl” because it’s always been othering to me. For me, it’s another way of saying “you’re not like ~those black girls,” “you’re the whitest black girl I know,” when really THIS is what being a black girl IS. We aren’t a singular type. Some of us like and play extreme music, etc., but that has never made me any less black, nor has it ever stopped me from dealing with black girl issues.
really though, “sneaking out” is such a white thing in every aspect bc firstly u need a big ass Suburban House™ with big windows and various levels of roofing so u can safely jump out. you also need White Parents™. forget getting out of the house my toe wouldn’t hang out of my bed w/out my mum knowing. let’s say u managed to best those eoc (ears of colour) how tf are u gonna get back in ? poc (parents of colour) all have a spiritual connection to their front door like they can telepathically communicate. 5 mins before i even approach that door u know my mum’s sitting on the other side waiting to kill me. it’s just not realistic.
^^^^^
This is no joke tho. one time my brother snuck out, managed to get past all the obstacles that come with having an African mother, except one. MY MOM HAD A DREAM THAT MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD HER TO WAKE UP AND CHECK ON THE KIDS! i was sleeping in the room with her so she knew i was fine, but went to my brothers room and his ass was gone. that’s why whenever someone asks me to sneak out, im always like naw im good, the asswhoppin my brother got doesn’t need a sequel
Yo grandmama snitched on your brother from the dream realm… Ain’t that some shit lmao
Bruh I’ll never forget when the guy I was interested at the time (white) asked me to sneak out. 😂😂😂😂
