betheintrepid:

How to explain to White subs that it’s not a compliment to me when they say Black women seem naturally dominant.

I’m so tired of them slinging that two bit compliment, and I’m not even tryna be a smartass right now. I’m tired like hurt-feelings-tired. Like, JUST STOP, because I’d rather you said nothing about me being Black than say that.

Let’s start with the fact that dominance in a BDSM context isn’t even close to pervasive enough to spread across Black women as a whole, so what they are really talking about when they say “naturally dominant" is the Strong Black Woman trope, which is A Thing many of us have developed to cope with life. Coping is not an attempt at domination; it’s an attempt at survival.

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Great look at the true complications of being the Strong Black Woman. I think it’s 100% applicable both inside & out of the bedroom.

I’m more sub than dom, but I think much of the reason I submit is to have a separate space where I can be truly vulnerable, a space that doesn’t feel like real life. And some of the difficulty I experience in occasionally topping my partner rests in our racial differences…