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Zodiac Signs AT THEIR WORST!

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(You can also refer to your Moon Sign)
Aries: Jealous, possessive, mean, fault finding, over-indulgent.
Taurus: Lazy, overly cautious, sensitive, feeling like everyone has bad intentions.
Gemini: Overwhelmed, easily depressed, snippy, judgmental and malicious, fickle, inconsistent.
Cancer: Uncommunicative, emotional rollercoaster, vulgar, sulking, wants to be alone, feels like they can never do anything right.
Leo: Overly aggressive, wasted energy, melodramatic, cold-hearted, distant, feels like it’s them against the world.
Virgo: Attitude, stand-offish, feeling sorry for themselves, self-pitying, really critical of others, lethargic and lazy.
Libra: Dramatic, highly sensitive, lazy, inactive, manipulative, dishonest, lashes out.
Scorpio: Revengeful, cynical, manipulative, highly secretive, mixture of raging emotions, overly obsessive.
Sagittarius: Argumentative, reckless, tactless, flaky, thoughtless, extremely harsh, volatile, unforgiving.
Capricorn: Snobbish, bossy, less forgiving, sees the worst in situations, hopeless, feeling attacked.
Aquarius: Very guarded, irrational thinking, more desperate, extremely detached, want to be left alone.
Pisces: Gullible, self-pitying, overly clingy, out of touch with reality, emotional, self-destructive.

what’s on the signs’ minds 99% of the time

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Aries: ‘im going to fucking fight that’ (can apply to a person, an ideology or an inanimate object)
Taurus: something rude, most likely; or complaining about their love life
Gemini: has like 16000 different trains of thought going on in there jfc guys
Cancer: getting sentimental or low-key judging somebody, depending
Leo: something really fucking gay or really fucking salty
Virgo: ‘i look flawless’; also tends to think about sex way more often than the name implies
Libra: a funny story they’re about to recount or ‘this’ll make an excellent selfie opportunity’
Scorpio: contemplating some Deep Shit like a brooding hipster nerd
Sagittarius: either nerding out very articulately or (that one gibberish iggy azalea rap verse) there isn’t any middle ground there
Capricorn: comes up with cool one-liners a beat too late; says a meme instead
Aquarius: same as gemini except they absolutely need someone to run over with all 16000 trains of thought
Pisces: ‘i need a drink’; ‘why is this happening to me’ and variations thereof

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nevver:

Awkward

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Me at the bar: can I have a rose water martini
Bartender:
Me: pomegranate sangria?
Bartender:
Me: Kyoto sour sake with muddled mint leaves?
Bartender:
Me: blood Orange margarita?
Bartender:
Me: aloe Vera mimosa?
Bartender:
Me: jack and coke?
Bartender: that’ll be 7 dollars.