As a black person, since I was a child, it became very clear to me that black people are not seen as positive in this society. I coped with that in many ways. On of those ways was through self hatred that I’ve had to deprogram over time. As an extension of that, however, I became very used to stereotypes, racial slurs and having my race be the thing that people call out/disrespect the moment they have a disagreement with me.
Doing what I do now and being somewhat visible, the harassment and stalking I experience is pretty intense. It’s pyschological and it’s constructed all with the intention of poking at those wounds that anti-blackness in this country has created. When you deal with that so much and so often, you get to the point where what at one point scared you or made you upset or made you feel uncomfortable, now is humorous to you. When a person calls me an ape, a nigger or a sheboon, I can only find those comments to be… uncreative, uninteresting and predictable. Like I said, my race is something I’m used to people trying to use against me, so at a certain point you just get thicker skin and learn to laugh at the simplicity of their thought process. These people utilize anti-blackness because it’s easy and because society confirms it for them. So as a black person, you learn how to stand on your own two feet and not rely on confirmation from society, specifically from white people, to understand that you are all you need. Perserverence is a part of the black experience in America and so many places around the world.We’ve had to have it for survival and it’s made us stronger, especially when we’re dealing with intersections of gender or sexuality.
So when I engage in these conversations about race and discuss how white people benefit from anti-blackness and their response that conversation is to throw a fit… to be honest, it’s hilarious. Because unlike a white person,I am used to being othered. I’ve accepted being othered. I’ve accepted that this is part of the world I live in, but they’re accostumed to being seen as standard. They’re used to everyone pandering to them so the moment they hear a criticism, it sounds far harsher than it actually is. I could hear how niggers are out of control and need to pull up their pants, stop having children and just start acting right verbatim over and over again from several people and LAUGH. These people hear a snide joke about mayonaise and they fall to the ground like someone took their xbox away. Like… it’s hilarious and it’s a great example of how i’ve become so accostumed to the hate that exists in this country and they just honestly wouldn’t be able to deal. As a black person you become very aware of your race. Most white people live almost exclusively around other white people. So race is something they don’t even really think about or question unless they live around people of color. So many people entering into social media spaces where the voices of people of color who have historically suffered because of how whiteness is framed, are complaining about white people they feel soooo attacked. BUt these people don’t even get that while we’re discussing police brutality, housing and employment inequality and sexual violence… they’re complaining about being called a name or a post on tumblr or some other social media website. We actually have to worry about racialized violence while you can always log off and walk away. When you look at it all, it’s funny and really childish.
These same white people are always discussing how the past is the past and how history is history. Well, if the past is the past, are you willing to reliquish any money passed down to you from your older family members? Are you ready to stop respecting your great grandfather who fought in the war? Are you willing to give up property that belongs to your family? It’s sucha foolish thing to say. The past impacts us now and that’s why we’re discussing these things. Do not mistake an increased visibility on these issues with “blacks are just complaining too much”. No we’ve been talking, but social media has empowered us. We excell at it and that’s why every trending topic usually starts with us.
