Oh, no, bruh. It’s very common. Some of us want to replay being assaulted in general or even want to get as close to recreating an event as possible.
I found personally, I wanted to recreate events as part of a very unhealthy obsession with reliving that pain. Like picking at a healing wound.
Now I just enjoy being submissive in D/s scenarios because it feels good to know that I can be as vulnerable as I was when I was assaulted without being hurt. It’s a relief when you spend the majority of your life terrified that if you aren’t strong and in control all of the time someone will take advantage of that to hurt you.
Look it up sometime, you really aren’t alone!
