silkbox:

Hey there! So, if you don’t know what to do, that’s okay! The first thing you should do in this situation is – take a deep breath. Let it out. 

Let’s talk about these things for a second. 

First of all, I know that many people struggle with self-image as you do. Don’t worry, you’re not a bad person for it. It’s hard, and it’s not always fun in inhabit a human body. They’re weird, right? They’re super weird. 

But your body is yours, and your body is awesome.

Our sexual parts? Literally ALL of them look different. ALL vaginae and ALL penises and ALL other genitals that are not one or the other. They’re ALL like that. I recommend going to scarleteen and poking around – they have a page that’s filled with all types of donated photos of different vaginae and vulva and etc. They are all different no matter how you look at it. 

As for the other stuff, I’m going to diverge this for a moment, and I hope you don’t mind. The things I write below are NOT meant to be a fix-all for your issues. They will not cure anxiety or body worries. BUT they might help, and with that hope, I’m gonna write what I’m about to write. 

1. PERSONAL – Take care of yourself

– In today’s world, we get a whole bunch of images of the ‘perfect’ bodies thrown at us. Often, they’re not realistic, but instead are the products of photoshop. Does that make it easier to look at them? Probably not. So – unfollow and unsubscribe from any chosen media which might be filling your life with imagery of impossible standards. Follow some blogs that promote YOUR type of body, or just positive images of all types of bodies. 

– Bringing yourself down is, in part, a trained habit. If you find it difficult to think of yourself on positive terms, start with others. When you see others with features similar to your, make an effort to look for things you like. Compliment them, appreciate their unique fashion, or face, or smile, etc. The more positivity you see around you, the easier it will be to later apply this to yourself. If you ever think of someone you see as ugly, take a second to gently correct your own thinking. People all have interesting things. 

– Talk to yourself. No, I’m not being silly. How often do you berate yourself, in your head or verbally? Turn that practice on its head. Whenever you think “you stupid idiot, you’re not attractive”, stop – take a breath, and force yourself to say “no, no, you’re okay. You’re nice, funny, smart, etc.” Even if this is hard. Force it. If it’s particularly impossible, start a step back. You know how you can say anything to a dog if you do it in a happy voice? (Who’s a poop monster? Is it you?Who stinks to holy hell? Is it my puppy? Is it? Yes it is!! You little motherfucker, come here, let me cuddle you!!) Dogs don’t care what you’re saying as long as your voice is happy. Use a similar technique. Be cheerful, even if you’re not saying extremely nice things. Then work your way up to actually saying (or thinking) nice things. 

2. PHYSICAL – Clean and maintain your body in small ways

– Start your day off with a glass of cold water. Before you go to bed, get a glass  (or a thermos, too keep temperature) and set it next to your bed. When you wake up, roll over, drink that glass of water. This does two things – it helps you wake up and it kickstarts your digestive system. Plus it keeps you hydrated after not-drinking for the 6-8 hours you were asleep. 

– Eat breakfast. If you’re not in the habit, this may be hard. Start off with ANY breakfast, even if it’s not super healthy. The important thing is to develop a habit. Many people, especially students, are not in the habit of feeding themselves properly. Then they suffer from other effects of a poor diet – like decreased energy, or feeling down, etc. I’m not saying that depression and anxiety can be magically fixed with food – but often, some of the symptoms of feeling poor can be alleviated with making sure you are getting enough nutrients and water.

– For acne, do two things: First, stop showering with lava. When you take super-hot showers, and scrub yourself with soap, you are drying out your skin. Your skin and hair are both damaged by extreme heat. Because you come out of the shower so dry, parts that are particularly effected (like your face and shoulders) begin to over-react and try to replace the natural layer of oils that you’ve just destroyed. They often overdo it, and you end up with oily skin. Second, for your face, wash your pillowcase more often or lay down a clean towel on your pillow. This helps soak up extra oils and dirt and naturally cleans your face while you sleep. Third: People have acne. I have acne. Everyone I know has acne. It’s not a death sentence. Most people either cover it with makeup or spend a lot of time fighting it. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and you’re not worth any less. Over time, as you mature hormonally, your acne will be less. It will probably not go away completely, but that’s fine.

3. PERSONAL – Create a nurturing, changing environment for your brain

– Change things about yourself every 3-4 months. This is a bit weird, maybe, or maybe you already do it naturally. Either way, updates to your own self are natural and should be a normal part of responding to your world. If you don’t update, you start to lag. Get a new haircut, or go out and buy new clothes, or a new bag, etc. I’m not saying a huge revamp – just small things to keep your own image flowing.

– Meditate. This isn’t a new-world fad. I’m just talking about mindfulness. I won’t site any religions – because meditation is not a religious experience. It’s a personal one. Every evening, or morning, take ten minutes to sit in complete silence and just THINK. If you don’t have anything to think about, feel your own body. Start with the toes, concentrate until your skin feels lighter in those areas, and then try to move the sensation up through your legs, torso, arms, etc. This is a good relaxation technique before bed, too. If you don’t know how to sit down and be still, make a habit of drinking tea in the morning or at night and observing something you haven’t before, like the window, or your family members, or the way the light plays with the curtains. 

– Create a group of support for yourself. Take your friends by the scruff of their neck and say “hey, we’re going to be a mental health Chat group from now on.” Organize a Skype group chat, or an online group chat, or just a cafe day/night. The purpose of this is to have a solid place where you can come together and take turns listening to each other’s thoughts, problems, or worries. At first, it mgiht be weird. But if you keep it a safe space, eventually you’ll feel more comfortable opening up to each other. This should be a place where each person gets a solid 10 minutes to just say ANYTHING while the others shut up. You can do this with one friend of 10. It doesn’t matter. The point is sharing, listening, discussing. To those not prone to sharing, try to start something anonymous online. It might be easier. 

Anyway – wow, this turned out to be a bigger thing than I anticipated. Sorry!

The point is – it’s okay not to know how to cope. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to have down days. It’s okay to seek professional help if you’re struggling. No one has it 100% figured out. No one got a manual when we entered this world. 

Help others, and help yourself. 

I like this quote: 

“No one of us can do everything. But together, we can do anything.”