Fun fact

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thisspacintentionallyleftblank:

fish-dunkel:

mindthebaron:

deeperforme:

thisspacintentionallyleftblank:

If you ever prioritize your sex drive over a sub’s feelings of safety, you are shit and should not be doing kink things.

If you ever try to push someone’s boundaries in trance just to see what you can get away with (without it being something you’ve negotiated first because obviously some people are into that) you are shit and should not be doing hypnosis things.

If you can’t understand why someone (especially a woman and especially a subby woman involved in kink) might need a bit more time or conversation or whatever before deciding to trust you, and if you ever make the argument that their desire for [insert kink thing here] should be enough to overcome their trepidation, you are shit and should not be doing kink things.

Being dominant does not just mean you get to boss people around.  It means you have a RESPONSIBILITY to be WORTHY of the trust people place in you.  If you can’t handle that, you should not call yourself dominant.

This has been a PSA.

The original tags are important too, and I don’t think they show up when I reblog: #this has been a PSA #met a guy on omegle tonight who was doing the copy paste message thing #looking for ‘f subs for a casual master/slave relationship’ #and I was like wow that cannot possibly get results #and he was like LOL WELL IT IS BETTER THAN DEALING WITH LIARS AND ROLEPLAYERS #and I was like well some people rp first to find out if you are trustworthy #and he was just like well that is shit if they want hypnosis they should let me do the hypnosis to them #and I was like look buddy I have pretended to be a sub to see what kind of shit people pull and there are people out there #who will say they respect your boundaries #and then turn around and keep trying to take you deeper until you agree to send nudes #and he was like lol I’ve done that my dick is I M P O R T A N T #and I was like YOU ARE THE PROBLEM #men are shit pass it on

This. 

The hard (work) is what makes it great.  (Apologies to Tom Hanks).

Original message is fully supported.

I do have a problem with one tag.

#men are shit pass it on

Synecdoche is a literary device wherein the whole of something is used to represent a part, or vice versa.  Just as you understand when people say “Washington is corrupt” that they are referring to a notable trend among politicians in Washington rather than suggesting that literally every part of Washington, down to the last child, is corrupt, I use “men are shit” here as a way to comment on a notable trend among men.

And for the record, when you see a woman complaining about a notable trend she has observed among men and your response is to throw in a “not all men” comment to establish that you, obviously, should be taken as an exception, you’re kind of being shit.  If this isn’t a thing you do, assume it’s not about you.  But a quick search in tumblr’s “online dating” tag will uncover countless examples of men treating women like crap because they feel entitled to a woman’s affections (and relatively few examples of women doing this to anyone).  Like, this isn’t even a comment on kink communities (though lord knows they have their fair share of shitty men).  If it’s not a thing you do, assume I’m not talking about you.  But in that case, the way to be part of the solution is to acknowledge this trend and commit to calling out your fellow men when they are being shit.  Telling me that my venting about frustration with a notable trend among men (in the LAST of a long line of tags on a post that is clearly about me being frustrated with trends I’ve noticed) is entirely beside the point here.

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AAVE AND WHY IT IS MORE THAN LIKELY CULTURAL APPROPRIATION TO SPEAK IT IF IT ISN’T YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE

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pedazitosfightsback:

If you believe that AAVE is not cultural appropriation, you are going to want to stop reading this and respond to me multiple times throughout the post. Don’t. Read it all the way through.

________________________

89% of the time, this is the argument for why cultural appropriation is okay:

“Don’t you want to share your culture with other people?!”

Especially to people who lack a “culture,” the answer may come as a surprise to you: no. I do not want to share something that you do not understand, that you have no connection to whatsoever, that you commodify for these reasons—I don’t want to share my culture with you.

Particularly, AAVE.

AAVE is a language. This means it has its own grammatical structure, vocabulary, nuances and means of communication. It is a language that I speak and understand around family and black friends. It is, like all other languages, best understood if learned from birth than if adopted later in life.

It isn’t “cool” or “wrong” or “funny,” but a language that when spoken by me is as normal to my tongue as American English.

When people who are not first-language AAVE speakers use AAVE, it is often

  1. In jest (why do black people pronounce words wrong let me do it to imitate people I think are more stupid than me), or
  2. Used to look cool (I think using AAVE in my slam poetry for open mic night will make it so deep; I am a white anarchist but I use AAVE because I’m urban and inclusive; that’s so dope! sup bro! ratchet! ill! this shirt is bad!)

I know what you’re thinking: this is just a language and languages are adopted all the time. Here is why you are ignorant and wrong and what is happening is actually appropriation:

The most important feature of appropriation is the stealing of something from another culture and changing-meaning of, either by diluting the meaning or just changing the meaning in general, the cultural thing that has been stolen. Guess what non-AAVE speakers?

When you use AAVE: You don’t use the shit correctly.

When you insert random AAVE into your conversation, it is equivalent to taking a word randomly from one language and using it in an English sentence. In cases where translations are direct (objects), this is usually fine and doesn’t change the meaning at all. In cases where the translation is not direct, you are literally (follow the logic)

  • taking a word that your language does not have a meaning for and then
  • changing the meaning of that word to fit into the context of your language and life.

Especially with regard to AAVE stolen from popular black media, which is more available to non-AAVE speakers and is therefore more accessed and appropriated, non-AAVE speaking audiences will adopt the word and, using the only language context they know, will unknowingly change the meaning of the word just because it’s what makes sense to them.

The problem is that AAVE takes more than context clues. In AAVE, the way a thing is said can change the meaning of it. It is not a tonal language, but a lot of things in AAVE are implied, which is why many black people do what is considered rude and “interrupt” someone when they’re talking.

The truth is that we have learned from a very young age to anticipate meaning in a sentence and oftentimes, especially because AAVE is our first language, will naturally do this (even when the meaning we interpret is incorrect). It is also AAVE-speaking customary to interrupt someone while they are talking, because since we have already anticipated the ending of a sentence, it’s not necessary for them to finish it.

Because of the social standing of Blacks in the US, a lot of AAVE is taken and appropriated to mean something negative or pejorative even when it is not meant to be so.

Taking examples from popular media of AAVE being taken and appropriated, I will use the popular and commonly mistaken Ratchet Girl Anthem (video starts at 1:35). Before analyzing what the word ratchet really means vs. how AAVE-appropriators use it, I would like to point out how cultural appropriation of AAVE takes place in the first place:

  1. Person who is non-AAVE speaking hears this song
  2. Person hears the word “ratchet,” which is not currently a word/does not have meaning in their vocabulary
  3. Person concludes using context clues and inflection of the singers’ voices that “ratchet” indeed is something undesirable
  4. Because of social standing of Blacks and the various stereotypes of Black people in the club are played up in this song, the person assumes the word “ratchet” must relate to qualities of Black culture that society has deemed “undesirable”
  5. Person associates the word “ratchet” with all negative stereotypes of black people, even when that is not what the word is used for, because that is what makes sense to them in their lingo-social context

And if you are a non-AAVE speaker, think of how you’ve been using the word, “ratchet.” If someone is loud or boisterous, a quality associated with “negative aspects of Black culture,” you might call them ratchet. If you pass a black person up and they do something you deem “ghetto,” you might call them ratchet.

At this point, the word goes on to take a meaning that can be substituted for any negative thing or event you as a non-AAVE speaker encounter. Burn a cake? Ratchet. Clumsily trip over a backpack? Ratchet. Someone cuts you off? Ratchet.

But here’s the thing:

Ratchet simply means (and fellow Black brethren please help me translate this) to be poorly suited. To not be dressed your best. To look bad.

Seriously. Look at when they use it in the song:

OMG, what do she have on? (She ratchet)
Her lace front is all wrong. (She ratchet)
Boy bye, not with them shoes on (He ratchet) 

AAVE speakers pick up on this immediately, because we are able to discern what exactly they’re labeling as “ratchet.” Non-AAVE speakers will hear the whole song—the part where they glorify child support, and babydaddies getting out of prison, and getting new merchandise—and incorrectly assume these things (which are also stereotypically considered the be negative qualities of Black culture) are included in the ratchet part.

You have to remember, as a non-AAVE speaker, you may learn the occasional word, but there is a whole grammatical structure that you do not understand at all and it inhibits your comprehension of rap songs. It is easy to believe you understand it, but why do you think black people laugh when non-AAVE speakers cover rap songs, or use words they heard from rap songs?

When you cover a rap song, it is equivalent to a poor Spanish speaker covering a Spanish song; when you use words you hear from rap songs, you often use them incorrectly even without knowing.

The problem, though, is that 75% of this country is white, and most of those white people are using words they’ve adopted from AAVE. Incorrectly. When they change the meanings of these words, it’s appropriation.

Why that is more harmful than you think:

The case of ratchet, where a word that is used to describe someone’s attire is incorrectly attributed to negative aspects of the whole black race, is indicative of most cultural appropriation of AAVE. AAVE ends up being appropriated by non-AAVE speakers and then used against AAVE speakers, a group that is 99.9999% black. Words in AAVE that don’t mean anything negative will, when appropriated, become negative in meaning or negative in connotation simply because they are words that originated from black culture.

Most importantly It’s an unspoken rule that AAVE, when spoken by white people, is cute, not ignorant, and playful. When spoken by black people, it’s “ghetto.” AAVE spoken by a white person can cost them respectability or professionalism; AAVE when spoken by black people can cost them a job, opportunities, and even their own livelihood. If a you passed up a white person speaking AAVE, you’d think, “He’s playing around.” If you passed a black person speaking it, even if they were playing around, you’d think, “Why can’t they speak English correctly?”

Most importantly, it creates a false sense in oppressors that we are all laughing at the same thing. When black people laugh at AAVE, we are laughing at the language and how it is used. When non-AAVE speakers laugh at AAVE, you are laughing at blackness; you’re laughing at what you think is more ignorant and stupid than you.

Because you don’t understand.

Do you see why I would not want you to “share” that part of my culture? That isn’t sharing at all. That’s bastardizing.

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thedailyshow:

Trevor Noah on Jeffrey Lord’s statement to Van Jones that the KKK was “the military arm, the terrorist arm of the Democratic party according to historians.” And it’s true the KKK was spawned by the old Democratic party, but it’s also true that shit started out as pizza.

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angel-jai:

B L O O M

model: me (IG: @anjel.face)
photographer: (IG) @vivid_intro

My boyfriend says my vagina isn’t sweet enough. What can I do to increase the sweetness?

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unoriginalityisdead:

silencetheblind:

nickw91:

sincerelyafrica:

Increase the sweetness? Lmao niggas got girls out here thinking their vaginas supposed to taste like Cinnamon Toast Crunch and tropical skittles. Your vagina isn’t a chocolate factory baby. It’s not supposed to taste “sweet” it’s supposed to taste like a vagina. Tell your ungrateful ass boyfriend to stop asking for diabetes and eat whatever is handed to him or another nigga can💅🏿

Lol I’m dying

But it can taste sweet if you eat right….

No…no it can’t.
Ok quick sex Ed 101:

Vaginas are not fruit salad bars lmao it’s not supposed to excrete sweet fluids. A vagina is normally acidic. This changes based on pH balance. Sweating, diet, periods etc. are factors that can change the ph balance. So yea, though a healthy diet is good for your vagina, a vagina will never taste “sweet.” The ph balance just takes the vagina back to its normal acidic state.

If a penis doesn’t taste like Hershey chocolate bars why do you guys expect vaginas to taste like Reese’s peanut butter cups?

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odinsblog:

Talk about speaking truth to power…

I want to applaud Ashley Williams, the #BlackLivesMatter protester who confronted Hillary Clinton and demanded an apology for Clinton’s use of “superpredators with no conscience and no empathy, who need to be brought to heel” when she used dog whistles to refer to Black youths as little more than animals, as she advocated for Bill Clinton’s notorious 3-Strikes crime bill (which disproportionately targeted and imprisoned Black people).

Clinton replied, “You know what? No one has ever asked me about this before. You’re the first one to ask me about it.” 

Besides noting the obvious problem with Ms. Clinton apparently needing to be publicly prompted before it ever even occurred to her to apologize for saying something so casually racist, if there are people who have spoken to her about this, then I hope they feel sufficiently empowered to step forward and make Mrs. Clinton have to explain her obfuscation.

I find it very hard to believe that no one at all has ever spoken to her and never asked about this before.

And once again, all respect to Ms. Ashley Williams. Disruptive action protests take a lot more than planning and coordination – it also requires guts. I’m a soon to be 32 year old Black man who is an inch shy of 6 feet tall, tipping the scales at 185 pounds, and I seriously doubt that I would have had even half the courage needed to do what Ms. Williams so bravely did.

From Bree Newsome to Sandra Bland and beyond, my people are stepping up and speaking out, and I am so proud.

Thank you.