stop asking folks with no sexual experience how they know their sexual identity. stop disqualifying folks who are queer from claiming one sexual identity or another. stop quantifying queerness through visibility alone, stop assuming queerness has a “look”. stop asking “who’s the man”, stop perpetuating this idea that folks are either lesbian, gay or straight, stop limiting relationships with intimacy standards and hierarchies.
When a person tells you you hurt them, you don’t get to decide you didn’t.
Louis C.K.
This has long been one of the most influential quotes I have ever come across. Completely changes my perspective on soooo many situations in my past. (via hudson-republic)
Self care is whatever keeps you alive. This can mean different things to different people at different stages in their lives, because of different needs and priorities either short or long term.
Paying your bills and budgeting keeps you alive. Buying groceries keeps you alive. Eating healthy food keeps you alive. Exercising keeps you alive. Proper sleep hygiene keeps you alive. All of these are true.
Being kind to yourself keeps you alive. Listening to your favorite music keeps you alive. Staying in bed when you’re exhausted keeps you alive. Watching netflix all day when you’re exhausted instead of doing chores or hygiene keeps you alive. All of these are true, too.
They’re not mutually exclusive. All of these are important, but when you are disabled you often do not have the energy or brainpower to do all of them. Some days you need to triage one task for the sake of another. And that’s your business and your business alone – no one else can see the inside of your head, only you know what is best for yourself and what you most need, in any given moment, to stay alive.
You have a right to make those decisions for yourself without being shamed. You have a right to live your life at your own pace, on your own terms, to the extent of your energy and abilities. All you can do is your best, and some days that will look different from others, and that’s okay, it’s not a static thing. Do what you need to do, one day at a time, to take care of yourself how you best see fit.
You don’t deserve to feel shame for struggling. You are valid. You are doing your best. You deserve to have your right to autonomy and your choices respected.
Everything slows down, we’re on our own planet, nothing exists but us and a haze of stars. I’m watching your face watch my face. I’m drunk on our closeness and your hands on my hips. Spread me open, fill me up, come closer, I’m wrapped around you and it’s still not enough.
