When looking for someone to be with in a romantic relationship with, there’s no single thing more important than finding someone with a healthy willingness to grow (you need to have that characteristic as well). You can find someone who seems perfect for you, but that person is perfect right now. People change, life beats you up with it’s challenges. Your outlook on things change. I’ve been with the same woman for 8 years now and if she didn’t believe in my ability to grow we wouldn’t have lasted more than a few months. Just as important, if I didn’t show my willingness to grow through my actions we wouldn’t have lasted very long. The same thing works the other way around. So don’t look for the perfect person. Look for the person with a sincere willingness to grow and who responds to challenges, especially those you’ll inevitably face in your relationship, as an opportunity to grow and to learn about who your are at that particular time in your life. I know 50 years from now I’ll still be learning something new about my wife. Not because she hasn’t revealed her full self to me, but because I know that this human being, in all her wonder, will continuously be facing new experiences that will affect her disposition.
