Witches don’t want your first born. They want your pet. Just to play with once in a while in a park, in the moonlight.
You will be invited, of course, but you are the “plus one” on the invitation, as it is addressed to your pet.
Month: June 2015
does anyone else follow people who don’t even have the same interests as you, but you’ve followed them for years and you can’t imagine unfollowing them?
it’s like, no that’s joan the dolphin lover? she’s practically your neighbor on this website? you’ve never talked, you’re not even mutuals, but damn she loves dolphins. And every time you see her on your dash, you’re just like, oh wonderful, joan’s still alive, just doing her thing. she’s getting into golden age russian cat literature, good for her!
this person doesn’t even know they’ve been on your dash through the ups and downs of your life. Their presence and cactus obsession is just something kind of familiar and almost comforting to you?
What it’s like to talk about feminism on the internet
this is on point
Rules to learning English
Standard
you know this summer someone’s going to be like “it’s too hot” and some nerd will reply “hot damn”
don’t believe me just watch
My 3 year old says “It’s too hot” if food is mildly warm. My husband, no doubt, adds, “Hot Damn” under his breath. Every. single. time.
I do this to myself … every time. And believe me, I whine about it being too hot (hot damn) several times a day.
My husband hates both me and Bruno.
The next time you’re about to do it, just stop- wait a minute. Fill his cup, put some liquor in it.
And then he shouldn’t complain as much, right?
*rolls over and goes to sleep to avoid this hellscape we live in*
u ever get so hype the only thing u hear is gasolina by daddy yankee