Aries: ‘im going to fucking fight that’ (can apply to a person, an ideology or an inanimate object)
Taurus: something rude, most likely; or complaining about their love life
Gemini: has like 16000 different trains of thought going on in there jfc guys
Cancer: getting sentimental or low-key judging somebody, depending
Leo: something really fucking gay or really fucking salty
Virgo: ‘i look flawless’; also tends to think about sex way more often than the name implies
Libra: a funny story they’re about to recount or ‘this’ll make an excellent selfie opportunity’
Scorpio: contemplating some Deep Shit like a brooding hipster nerd
Sagittarius: either nerding out very articulately or (that one gibberish iggy azalea rap verse) there isn’t any middle ground there
Capricorn: comes up with cool one-liners a beat too late; says a meme instead
Aquarius: same as gemini except they absolutely need someone to run over with all 16000 trains of thought
Pisces: ‘i need a drink’; ‘why is this happening to me’ and variations thereof