My favorite pictures of myself are the ones that forge the reality that I’m out here still fighting for my humanity. Honestly, I’ve been going through a lot lately and I haven’t been in a good head space at all. I deal with suicidal thoughts and depression, and just recently I was sexually assaulted again. I’m actually fucking falling apart and I can’t really ever talk about it out loud. It’s so hard for me to get up in the morning and want to live and keep fighting to survive. Being fat, being Black, being queer, being a woman, and dealing with my mental health is so fucking hard living in this society that marginalizes every part of my existence. I’m tired. And somehow I’ve managed to keep going (which is no easy feat but also there’s no shame in not continuing living this way). I value how activism and protests have helped give me a further purpose in life because I know that I’m fighting for all Black people who deserve to exist and be free and be happy and be praised for their beauty and their amazingness but also probably feel as fucked up or lost/ alone as I do. I appreciate Blackout because it reminds me why I organize and why I get up in the morning… Because we’re all still hurting and we’re still surviving and it’s amazing to see us thrive together and love what white supremacy tells us to hate.
This is so important. Thank you for your words.
