“We gotta let go of all of our ghosts,
we both know we ain’t kids no more.”
lyrics
“My heart is drenched in wine,
but you’ll be on my mind.”
Suehiro Maruo
Gearing up for the last, longest leg of my trip to see Sir.
This has always been one of my poly feelings songs – “How do I know I can come and give to you/love with no warning and find you alone?” – and it feels all the more appropriate and applicable for what’s ahead of me.
Facts are that I haven’t seen Sir in four months now. We’ve been contending with time zones, with both being extremely busy, with other relationships and obligations. And for as sure as I am that this is just the anxiety that comes with hopping on a plane to fly around the world and see someone, with all the expectation and stakes involved, it’s hard not to worry of all that could go wrong.
That lyric’s always stuck with me because it’s impossible: there’s absolutely no way to know. There’s absolutely no guarantee, and it’s as unreasonable as most of the great love proclamations people say so readily they’ve lost their absurdity under idiom – never let me go, don’t ever leave my side, etc. And so I know arriving will probably be a little awkward, things may not go as seamlessly at first as you want to expect.
But I know I love the crap out of this person. Despite being exhausted and having a massive flight still ahead of me, I’m excited to see him.
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
Hey, love, we’ll get away with it.
“And when we burst
Start over, oh darling
Begin again
Begin again
Begin again.”
“He sees right through me, it’s so easy with lies
Cracks in the road that I would try to disguise
He runs his scissor up the seam in the wall
He cannot break it down or else it would fall.”
“The summer memory that just never dies
We worked too long and hard to give it no time.”
“But no one gives us any time anymore.”
“I didn’t want to be the one to forget
I thought of everything I’d never regret
A little time with you is all that I get
That’s all we need because it’s all we can take.”
