Gallery

Disclaimer: The acts I depict here were consensual. I trusted the person I did this with, we had negotiated safewords and limits, and I could have stopped what was happening at any time. When there was doubt as to whether I would be capable of that, Pup checked in with me and made sure I didn’t want to stop. The reason I did not was because despite the duress and the tears, I genuinely enjoy this treatment, and these factors are honest contributors to my enjoyment of a scene like this.

I think it started because Pup was jokingly trying to smother me a little with one of his sheets after I’d asked him to play. “No,” I huffed, trying to bat it away, “no, stop that. I mean seriously play." 

Pup set the sheet down. He eased a flat hand under me like a spatula and flipped me over onto my stomach so I was facedown on the sheet. As he tried to wrap me up in the sheet, I started struggling. It was grey, maybe microfiber and very soft to the touch – and the sight of it today makes me shudder a little.

"Stop it!” I whined as I squirmed around. The result was that the sheet wasn’t quite a neat wrap but a series of disjointed drapes over my body. “That’s not…”

Pup gathered my wrists together in front of me under the sheet and started to tie them with rope on the outside. I ended up starting at a grey nub in front of me as he moved down to tie my legs. “This looks stupid.”

“Well, good,” Pup replied and pulled some excess over my head, blocking my face. I could still breathe through it, but I had to be a little deliberate about it. He’d wound the rope back up my body and was carefully securing a loop around my neck, making sure I could still breathe. I squirmed around and groaned. “You all right?” He asked, “still ‘green?’”

“Yeah,” I pouted. “It’s just…I want to look pretty when you tie me up.”

I heard him laughing and gasped a bit when he picked me up off the bed. He set me down on the floor and I felt myself being rolled underneath. Remembering how I’d told him that being ‘put away for later’ was a fantasy of mine, I cursed myself for being so honest. “No!” I whined, “come on.”

“Shh.” I could hear barely-restrained laughter in his voice. “Be good and maybe I’ll take you back out later. I’ve got other things to do.”

I doubled my efforts at trying to get out, wriggling around on his floor. But when I felt his riding crop collide with my ass through the sheet, I stiffened at attention. I realized I probably wasn’t totally under the bed, maybe beside it, which made me weirdly feel a little safer. “I don’t want to hear you,” he said. “I don’t want to hear you moving or whining. Are we clear?”

“But I…” He hit me again and I pouted, curling up on the floor and trying to focus on my breathing. However, after what seemed like entirely too long but was probably a few minutes, I got a little restless. I wasn’t far enough that I felt the need the safeword, and I knew trying to get his attention would probably get me punished, so I waited a bit longer. Suddenly, I felt the riding crop land on my thigh. 

“If you can take a beating and be quiet, I’ll let you out and you can suck my cock as a reward. Otherwise, I’m going to leave you here a bit longer and we’ll try again in a little while.” He gave a tentative tap to the back of my thigh.

“How long is the beating?”

“However long I want it to be,” he replied.

I groaned. “That’s so unfair,” I struggled, trying to roll over onto my back. “Come on, I want to.." 

Pup pushed some of the material that had gotten shaken loose aside with the tip of the crop, exposing one of my breasts. I felt him sit down beside me. He grabbed my breast, flicking the nipple with his thumb. "This is what I like, a little disembodied tit to play with where I don’t have to deal with the little whiney brat it’s attached to.” He rubbed the nipple between his fingers and I moaned softly. “I don’t care about what you want right now, is that clear?”

He got up and started to beat me with the crop, but a few hits in I was squirming and whining. “Nope,” he nudged me with his foot. “I’ll try again later and maybe you’ll work extra hard to be quiet and hold still.”

A few minutes later, he tried again. I failed. Again, and I failed. Once more, and I failed. I was getting increasingly frustrated, not to mention embarrassingly aroused by the whole ordeal, and I was starting to slip into subspace. When he tried once more and I failed on what he’d called the final hit, I pressed my forehead to the floor and started crying. After he’d checked in about safe words and made sure I was okay, he snapped back into the scene and sat down on his bed.

“Shut up.” He laid the crop against my sheet-covered cheek, but didn’t hit it. “No crying. I don’t want to hear it.”

I tried hard to keep still, attempted to cry quietly. Every so often a choked sob would come through and Pup would beat me for a minute until I’d managed to quiet myself, which is an incredibly difficult feat in the midst of being hit with a riding crop. “Toys don’t cry,” he’d said at one point. “Shut up.”

Finally, he gave me an out. “If you’re a very good girl,” he said, “and you take ten hits while holding perfectly still and being very quiet, I’ll let you out to suck my cock.” Somehow, after the whole ordeal, I managed to succeed. I was absurdly proud of myself, and when he untied me and took me out of the sheet, I made such an eager beeline for his cock that I shocked myself.

Usually, I would have ragged on him and been a brat, insisting that he didn’t deserve a blowjob after what he’d done to me. But, I was really deep in subspace, and I found myself giving my all to pleasure him. Pup, perhaps noticing this as well, started laughing. “Aw,” he patted my cheek. “Look at you. Somebody really doesn’t want to go back into the sheet, does she?” At the mention of it, I doubled my efforts.

When he pulled me off of him, I was so convinced he was going to ‘put me away’ again that I whined and tried to get his cock back in my mouth. A little surprised, Pup pulled me into his chest. “Shh, somebody’s pretty gone, isn’t she?” He stroked my hair, “come on, let’s get you back down.”

“No, I just…” I realized he was making the right choice to end the scene, but the totally subspaced part of my brain wanted him to push me deeper. It was the first time I’d felt genuinely submissive to him, not just for the sake of a scene, and he made the right choice deciding to give me some aftercare before things got weird or too intense.

“Nope, you’re too deep.” He gave me some water and kissed my forehead. “Come on, let’s get you out of this.” I conceded and sat in his lap, running my finger over the rope marks that were still on my skin despite the sheet blocking them. 

When he tried to tuck me in, he picked up the sheet and I recoiled from him. Later, we’d both have a pretty good laugh about that (to this day if he tries to wrap me up in it or put it on the bed when we sleep I bat it away), but he quickly covered me up with another blanket and reassured me that we were done with that for today. 

I fell asleep curled against him, still a little subspaced but in a comfortable enough headspace that I could sleep. He wouldn’t bring me that deep again until mid-December, but that’s a story for another day.

Gallery

Months ago, I sent Sir this gif, saying that it made me really wet. “What do you think she had to do?” he asked, which only made me blush. 

That night, I had plans to get together with Pup, and about an hour beforehand Sir texted me saying that I should wear something I didn’t mind losing. “Something cute,” he added. I found a bra that was starting to wear a bit at the straps, an old pair of tights that were ripped at the toe, a blouse that was a bit too big on me that I’d used for a costume. I couldn’t find anything beyond the tights to wear on bottom, so I just found a skirt that matched and sent a picture to Sir. “All right,” he replied, “I’ll tell him not to mess up the skirt. Put your hair in pigtails.”

“What’s going on?” I texted him, getting a little nervous. I still braided my hair, and made sure to wear a long coat over my outfit. Without it, I kind of looked like a schoolgirl or some porny parody of a teacher and I felt a little silly wearing it. 

Sir didn’t respond, and a few minutes later, Pup had arrived. “Nice hair,” he mussed the top of my head. I shot him a glare. “I figured we would go get some coffee.”

I shifted nervously. “Are you sure you don’t just want to stay here?” I didn’t want to take off my coat in public.

“No, come on,” he led me down the stairs and over to a cafe near my place. When the waitress asked if we wanted the drinks for here, I quickly replied that they were to go. When someone I knew came over to say hi and comment on my hair, I nearly died on the spot.

We got our drinks and ended up walking around outdoors. Eventually, we found our way to a few empty streets and I started getting a little bratty. It’s my usual reaction to a situation where I feel vulnerable, and I was feeling pretty vulnerable at that moment. 

“If you don’t stop, I’m going to stick you behind that car and fuck your face,” Pup said and grabbed my arm. 

I huffed and tried to tug it away. “Aren’t you still chaste or whatever?”

“No,” he replied and pulled me along. “I don’t think so.”

When we got back to my place, I’d barely locked the door when Pup pushed me down onto the carpet. He pulled my coat open and pushed it off my shoulders, tossing it aside. I struggled underneath him, trying my hardest to hide a smirk, but stopped short when I saw him take a knife out of his pocket and flick it open.

“He told me not to mess up the skirt, but it’s not my fault if you keep moving,” Pup said and flipped my skirt up around my waist with his free hand. He grabbed a fistful of the material of my tights and sliced it away with the knife. Slipping the knife under the hole he’d made, he cut a slit down my leg. “I like this,” he murmured to himself and I saw his eyes light up.

I hadn’t done anything with genuine fear involved in quite a while, and maybe because this was new territory with him, my eyes welled up with tears. It was weirdly satisfying cry – honestly even erotic – but Pup still stopped and checked in. “I’m good, really,” I answered, “I’m enjoying myself.”

Pup reached up and pulled open my blouse, chuckling when he encountered my bra. He took the bow at the front between his two fingers and gave it a little tug. “Cute,” he teased and sliced it away before slipping the knife under one strap, then the other.

“Aww, is someone scared?” Pup taunted as he returned to shredding the tights from my body with his knife and free hand. Curls of stray, torn nylon were spread around me on the carpet. “Scared I’m going to slip and hurt you?” He set the dull end of the knife against my cheek and I sucked in an anxious breath. His hand slipped down between my legs and he laughed, “you don’t seem like you mind it too much.” He closed his knife and returned it to his pocket. “Get in your bedroom,” he tapped my side with his foot. “Now.”

I don’t remember all the particulars of what we did, beyond the fact that mostly it was a lot of beating and me sucking his cock. I ended up on my knees by the side of my bed by the end, exhausted. Pup got up to his feet and walked over to his discarded pants. He took out his wallet, thumbed through it, and took out a twenty. Moving back in front of me, he crouched down and pushed the bill into my mouth. I watched in shock as he pulled his clothes on.

“I can’t take this,” I said as I tried to give it back. “This isn’t…”

“It’s not my money,” he replied. “So tell your boyfriend I said thanks for the blowjob.”

I still held out the twenty. “He gave you money?”

Pup patted my head, “he said he’d reimburse whatever I decided to give you. I meant to break this at the coffee shop.” Out of wanting to get out of there fast, I’d paid for both of our drinks. “Probably more than you deserve.”

“I can’t…” I objected and watched him walk towards the door.

He grinned, “bye, whore. Thank Craftsmate for me, would you?”

He had intended to just step out for a minute and then come back and give me aftercare, but I was so subspaced and confused and frustrated that I kind of freaked out when he went to pretend to leave. While he took care of me, I texted Sir and thanked him for letting me realize this fantasy I’d had with Pup. It required a lot of trust and generosity on his part. I count it as one of his and my biggest poly successes. 

“Please take the money back,” I said when Pup went to tuck me in and head out. When he shook his head, I huffed and added, “I’ll just use it when we go apple picking, then.”

“It’s your whore money,” he replied and kissed my forehead.

Gallery

Overwhelmed, Part Nine

Stuff got a little fuzzy for a while. I was really subspaced. And if I haven’t driven the fact home enough, I was overwhelmed.

At one point, I was sort of on the edge of the futon and there were just hands all over me. I dipped back and when they pulled me back up, I came up crying. I wasn’t upset or scared, I didn’t want it to stop, I was just overwhelmed. I have no other way to describe it.

It was like there was just so much going on and I could barely take it all in. It was that I wasn’t used to having all the attention in a threesome directed on me by two partners. And while that makes me a little spoiled, it’s a lot to contend with. Just this unilateral attention coming from two different parties. It’s just this kind of sexy two-front war.

But Sir held me in his arms and laid down so I was lying on my back with my head against his chest. He kissed my forehead and SG moved around in front of me. 

“Let’s make her cum,” Sir said.

Gallery

The Adventures of Sir, Sweetheart and Mr. Purple, Part Nine

I had no idea what to say to the Southern Gentleman as I waited, so I just kept quiet until Sir walked back into the room. He reached down and squeezed my ass before hitting it once with the cane. I grunted in pain, squeezing the couch with my knees as he hit me again. My feet aimlessly shifted as I sought to retain my composure.

“See how nicely she marks?” Sir offered.

SG chuckled as I cried out from a particularly hard swat. “Is she always that loud?”

I would have said something snarky, but I was too caught up in the pain. Combined with the humiliation of being displayed and my extremely high level of arousal, I was practically drunk with sensation. But the endorphins had not kicked in yet and the hits still hurt like crazy. I felt my eyes well up with tears and I wailed.

“Is she crying?” SG asked. There was some concern in his voice, but there was something else. He seemed absolutely intrigued. He’d never really done the whole pain play thing with me. And, suddenly, I was stuck wondering if he was worried or if he was hoping that the answer was yes.

“I’m crying,” I exclaimed, my voice strained. “Show him. Show him how I’m crying.”

Sir chuckled and grabbed me by the hair, turning me around and sitting me back down on the couch. The sore, raw skin of my ass touched the couch and I winced a bit. But I could feel the wetness pooling between my thighs and I wanted so badly to be fucked that I was delirious from need and pain.

Sir and SG were talking, but I could barely keep track of it all. Instead, I was looking at the little box that showed was SG was seeing. I looked at myself, something I hate to do in these situations. I like to keep some degree of cognitive distance and seeing myself tied up is hard. Blame my shame issues.

But this time, with my makeup running down my face and my arms cuffed behind my back, I couldn’t make myself look away. I wanted to see myself.

Suddenly, the image faded and Sir was lying me down on the couch. He hooked two fingers into my pussy and started massaging my gspot. I shivered underneath him.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

He smiled, “rewarding you.”

Gallery

nankingdecade:

Two by two, hands of blue.

Um. Where is this from?

Just, uh.

Just wondering…

Gallery

The first time I ever cried for Sir in a D/s context was when he pushed my face into a plate and wiped food all over my face while I was being a kitty for him. We were dating, right on the cusp of becoming some kind of an official couple, and I react rather strongly to degradation. So, I cursed at him and whimpered and started crying. And then I asked him to do it again.

He says he wants to make me cry like that, but push me harder. Humiliation and degradation aren’t really my favorite things, but mostly because I’ve had some pretty rotten experiences with other people. I want to trust that he will handle the aftercare properly and he won’t trigger anything weird, but I’m scared. He knows it, too, and has been really patient and open and loving about negotiating it.

So I want to be brave when I see him in December and let him push me really hard. In his words, I’ve been “braver and braver” lately and I want to be able to trust him. 

Gallery

cabinetofdesire:

The mask is mockery. They all know who she is.

And now they all know what she is.

Squirm.

Gallery

I know, Sweetheart, I know.

Life’s so hard sometimes.

Gallery

Damn you, Craftsmate, for making me have to rehang half of my dresses and jackets that morning.

But, okay, yeah.

It was a good morning.

Gallery

(Note: This should be a general note for all posts of this nature. The acts described herein are consensual. I was comfortable with the direction that the encounter went in and I was equipped with a safe word if I felt any of my limits being pushed or anything of that nature.) 

I had been horribly bad. He had tried to spank me and I had kicked him away. I winced. I braced myself for something horrible.

But I should’ve known he wasn’t the type to go crazy on me right there. I’m sure some would have just resorted to hitting so hard my teeth rattled in my mouth. But, he knew that sort of punishment would achieve nothing in the long-run. He knew the way I learned and he knew exactly what would get to me.

And for this reason, he decided to ignore me. He simply turned away, walked over to my desk, sat down, and checked his email. It was literally the worst punishment he could inflict, the most harmful, the most cutting, the most effective. And he knew it. And I knew it. And he knew that I knew it.

I crawled over beside him and knelt by his left leg. I hoped he would find the act endearing enough to stop punishing me. But it wasn’t nearly that easy. I sat there in silence for a good ten minutes before he started petting my head, a good fifteen before he unzipped his jeans and told me to crawl under the desk.

He fucked my face so hard I cried. Partially from the strain on my jaw. Partially from knowing how bad I had been. It was an almost wonderful release, punctuated by his snarl that little brats like me didn’t even deserve to have his cock in their mouths. 

He finished on my face and chest. He had me sit there with it on me, its initial heat cooling against my skin. Tears mixed with cum. I drank in the moment and realized just how much I belonged to him then. 

Soon, he pulled me up into his lap and cleaned me off. He held me, calmed me down, kissed my forehead. I choked out a thank you. He just pulled me closer and let me bury my face in the crook between his neck and shoulder. To average society, I’m sure, the entire ordeal makes no sense.

We had an understanding. There was security in our risks. There was freedom in limitation. There was trust. There was emotion.  There was pure, brutal honesty in the strangeness of our needs and our suffering. And from that there was a beauty in just being, in some odd way, completely and totally understood.