I don’t want to cop out of this question and I’ve been thinking about it. But, facts are facts: I do not have the authority to answer this question. 

All of the polyamory I’ve experienced was, for the most part, with me as the secondary. Aside from in one relationship, where she was the one who brought it up, I haven’t had to articulate my needs for polyamory very much at all where I was in one of the “primary” positions.

I’d like to refer you over to some other awesome tumblrs who are much better at this than I. Kinkycasey and herdirtylittleheart are two wonderful women with a lot more experience than I. Kinkycasey, in particular, answers questions about kink and polyamory a ton on her tumblr. 

I hope this helps.

<3, Ivy