Month: December 2014

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I’ve discovered that when it comes to jealousy in non-monogamy, it boils down to whether or not I find the other person is too similar to me. 

If I’m like oh this individual represents something so totally different than what I am, I’m really fine with it because I’m like sweet I get it you just want some variety you go for that.

But when somebody’s got too much in common with me, I start to get concerned about the idea of being replaced. One of my biggest insecurities is the whole idea that my partners are going to find somebody slightly better than me and trade up. I know, it’s absolutely ridiculous, but it’s one of the silly places my head goes.

Last summer, Sir started seeing this girl and they got super into each other very fast. I was really happy for him, but I realized this was another blonde girl with some fairly similar kinks except, oh yeah, she was down for more degradation than I was. Even though now I think she’s a lovely person, I was kind of livid and frightened at first by the whole idea of them seeing each other.

Of course, I’m in no sense “recovered,” but I’m kind of happy that I at least know what the jealousy is centered on. Being able to identify it is the first step of getting rid of it, right?

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Today I’m giving my last lecture of the semester before my little ducklings start their final exams. This was my first semester of teaching undergrads, and while I’m definitely not pregaming it, I’m probably going to sit on my floor and have a beer tonight.

Overall, I’m really glad I picked this path. There were definitely days I was like wow I’m getting through to these little people and then days where I looked down halfway through giving a lecture and thought goddammit my shirt is definitely see-through.

Here’s to the next however many to come.

6, 17

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6. I really don’t watch cartoons! A lot of my Little stuff isn’t really activities (coloring, cartoons, etc have never appealed) and is more playing with a dynamic.

17. I haven’t! Stop rubbing it innnnn.

12, 18, 21!

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12. It honestly varies. Usually I’m just in my day clothes but sometimes I wear something very sweet or very delicate.

18. I don’t have one “Big.” When it comes to Heart, the fact that we can communicate and support each other through non-monogamy. When it comes to Sir, it’s the trust we’ve built.

21. I like pet play a lot, but I haven’t done much of it at all lately.

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“I become such a monster when I miss you,” – Clementine von Radics, From the Ocean to the Moon. 

24?

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So hard to rank my kinks! But, if I had to sort of think about what floats to the surface in a lot of scenes or what the best stuff I’ve done consists of, I’d say: fear, bondage and training.