Month: March 2018
Consensual nonconsent has been messing with my head a bit. I think. I don’t know! We have been only in that role play for idk how long, a month? Six months? Longer? No means yes and begging “please please no” means please please yes… when I rationalize why we can’t, that’s become music to his ears. When I scream at him to leave me alone, he smacks me. When I whine and tell him I’m exhausted, he covers my mouth with his hand until I’m fighting for air. When I try and reverse it and ask politely for sex he laughs in my face… it’s gotten to the point that I adore finding new ways to convince him that I don’t want him just so he can pin me down and tell me that it’s not up to me. That I’m just a dumb little girl and I don’t know what I want.
Before I get any more anons about how my marriage is unhealthy and I need a safeword – I have a safeword. I use it. We do check ins regularly. He reads me like a book, and knows exactly when I want to play and don’t want to play without me having to say a damn thing most of the time. I’m a grown ass woman and he is a grown ass man and we are in a grown ass marriage. Here’s an idea for you: CONSENSUAL nonconsent was my idea and continues to be my idea every single time we do it! He wouldn’t be anywhere near me unless it’s exactly what I wanted.
I also want to take this moment to remind everyone I use my block button frequently!
Lately I’ve been considering going out of state when I go back to college. The idea is genuinely terrifying and exciting and overwhelming all at once but I guess I have time to figure it out, still. I’m wanting to go for computer science and possibly linguistics. I also might do marching band, because I kind of miss that. If anyone has any recommendations, you’re welcome to drop me a message or an ask!
I do also definitely want to take cost of living and local minimum wage into account. Dorms are kind of out, since I have a cat I do not plan on giving up, and aside from scholarships and grants, I will be using loans and paying my own way. The good news there is since I’m 24, my financial aid can be be based on my financial situation, rather than my parents’.
Because you’re getting lazy. You’ve forgotten how to beg properly, and I think you’re starting to take it for granted that you get to cum.
That’s my fault, but we’ll work on it together.
Happy Birthday.
