I did not take a class, read a book, or pass a test before I started calling Myself a Dominant.
I did not go before a committee and plead My case before I began to identify as a Sadist.
I didn’t attend dozens of munches and workshops before I began writing out fantasies regarding D/s.
I identify as a Dominant simply because I choose to.
Some people will never see Me as a dominant because I don’t fit into the mold that is their ideal dominant.
I have been called a fake dom, a player, been accused of not taking the lifestyle seriously many times.
My own girl first contacted Me to tell Me that I wasn’t a real dom, that I didn’t take this seriously enough.
Now, thankfully, I’m also a self centered asshole and couldn’t care less what anyone else things of Me, so that’s never bothered Me.
So why do I bring this up?
Labels. Some we give ourselves, some are given to use by others.
It’s how the human brain works. We categorize things, people, to make it easier to sort.
Some people hate labels, others embrace them, but one constant that I’ve noticed is that the same label can mean thousands of different things to thousands of different people.
If I call Myself a sadist, some people will looks at Me with disgust while others are curious, and a few more are drooling in anticipation.
Not only would many people view someone identifying as a sadist differently, but different people could identify as a sadist for different reasons.
Maybe there is a sadist who only enjoys orgasm denial. Well, a masochist that enjoys hanging from fish hooks may not consider that a sadist.
Any label, no matter where it comes from and no matter who is viewing it, has many angles.
When someone says to Me that they are a submissive, that isn’t the end of the conversation, it’s the beginning.
Why do you feel that you are a submissive? What are you into? What do you enjoy? What do you not enjoy?
Because there are not simply submissives and fake submissives, not simply doms and fake doms, there are people, whom are dominant and/or submissive.
Even that is just a small part of their personality. Get to know them, and find out what more there is, where they’re coming from with their desires, what they hope to achieve, what could help them learn to go even further, and you may find yourself with a friend.
