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anti-ordinary:

buy nice lingerie. wear it everyday. you always have someone to wear lingerie for: yourself. admire yourself. love yourself. take pictures in mirror. undress slowly. be mindful before you share this space. love yourself more than anyone else and anything else.

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ves5el:

DON’T LET SOME ASSHOLE EX RUIN YOUR FAVORITE BAND OR MUSIC OR COFFEE SHOP FOR YOU. LISTEN TO AND WATCH AND HANG OUT UNTIL THEY ARE WASHED OUT OF IT DONT LET THEM TAKE THAT FROM YOU

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saintpatrickstar:

earthdad:

this is what i call news

my dad used to be a high school janitor and one winter when we got a lot of snow, some kids built a snow penis on the middle of the football field overnight, using shrubs as pubes

by the morning it had warmed up a little bit and refrozen so that it was basically a solid chunk of ice

well the superintendent was outraged and he sent my dad and his coworkers to take it down, but it was frozen solid so they had to get more tools

well school was starting by this point so the superintendent was embarrassed of the gigantic 7 foot penis on the football field so he tried taking it down himself

and that’s the story of how hundreds of parents saw the highest ranking district official hugging a massive penis

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femsubdenial:

unixslut:

If you’re a denial slut of any kind, be it long- or short-term, male or female, whatever… buy this stuff. I cannot possibly recommend it anymore highly.

Orajel is a topical ointment meant to go in your mouth (ie a mucus membrane) to deaden the feeling of a canker sore or a tooth ache. It is 20% benzocaine, which is the highest amount of benzocaine available over the counter. It’s meant to go into (ahem) watery places, and though it tastes a bit odd (yes, I did buy it for my mouth actually LOL), it doesn’t cause any pain at all.

The other night, I was playing with myself, getting dangerously close to orgasming. I was having a very difficult time pulling my hands away so that I could go to sleep. I was genuinely worried that I would frig myself in my sleep, and cum, because I was That Close. Then my eye ran across the little tube of orajel…

I squirted a bit onto my finger, about as much as I used on my tooth, and then reached down and rubbed it into my clit. I was braced for a burning sensation, or discomfort, but there was none. I was rubbing and it felt soooo good, and I was thinking, “Oh well, that didn’t work,” when it kicked in. It took about 30 to 45 seconds before the numbing truly took ahold, and I will say, it was a wickedly deep numbness.

I lay there in bed, still idly flicking my now-numb clit, contemplating the juices puddling under me and how fucking horny I was. I pressed down hard, thinking that perhaps that would bring back the yummy edginess, as it had in the past. Nope. Nothing. I tried using a vibrator. Nada. I used my best vibrator. Zip.

I went to the bathroom, and despite it feeling a bit odd because I couldn’t feel the top part of my vaginal area, I had no difficulties at all. Note to those doing this – if you have genital piercings, make sure they’re all where they ought to be – with this stuff rubbed in like I had it, I didn’t notice that my clithood piercing was poking out and twisted until I got upstairs. Luckily nothing was damaged, and I was able to just rearrange the hardware, but I can definitely see how that could be problematic if you weren’t paying attention.

After I went back upstairs, I putzed around for a few moments, then gave another experimental poke at my clit. Still no sensation at all. In fact, my juices had made the benzocaine spread around a bit, and so pretty much everything around the area was completely numb. It stayed that way for a long time (over an hour).

While I wasn’t feeling the physical horniness from direct stimulation, let me tell you, that was fucking amazingly wet-making. I was not one shred less horny because the tingling went away, and the “pressure” of unrelieved arousal certainly didn’t go away. If anything, I felt MORE pressure, more need to get relief, and the sure knowledge that there was no chance in hell I was going to.

Unf…

Oooooooo! This sounds fascinating!

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thesaint-thesinner:

carpebutts:

buttermilkqueen:

subway??? no man this is domway. we tell you how you want your sandwich and u shut up and eat it.

Subway? No, this is Domway, where we ask you what things you like on your sandwich, what you don’t want, and what you’re thinking of trying and then help you come up with a combo that makes you happy.

If you want to feel the pain of jalapenos burning your mouth as you eat, we will take joy in making that happen and watching you squirm and reach for youe drink over and over. If you would simply like some comfort food in the form of some tuna salad, we’ll make that happen. And if you want to be told how we’re gonna make your sandwich instead of being asked about it, you’re still free to stop us at any time, because this is still your sandwich.

Domway: No CreepyDoms allowed. Eat fresh.

I love this so much.