intro – Not A Real Doctor

Okay, as a more serious answer to yesterday’s ask, and also because I’ve had a sudden (very welcome!) spike in followers and should probably reintroduce myself.

I’m a white cis man in my 30s with a collection of kinks you can probably divine pretty easily. This blog is a mix of wry captions and short-form fiction; I also have a Literotica account with longer stories. There are a few posts here tagged “personal,” “intro” or “politics” which are not fiction, which I hope is obvious. It’s safe to assume everything else is invented, especially if it’s tagged “erotica.”

As an extension of that: I believe strongly that everyone’s body is their own, that we must learn and teach a culture of consent, and that intersectional feminism is something I’ll be learning about and working toward my whole life. I write about BDSM and nonconsent because it gets me off, and if you’re reading this it probably gets you off too. That’s okay. All of the above can be true. We contain multitudes.

I am not currently looking for play partners, long-distance or otherwise. I am always looking for interesting and carefully curated new blogs to follow, but I don’t get to check in that often, so if you post in high volume I may not follow you even if I like you very much. Thanks for your attention, dear reader; even if I write in an arrogant persona, you humble me.

OH HI.

Thanks to some reblog love from the fantastic Yourbadgrrl, I’ve, uh, just about doubled my followers in the last week or so. (Thanks, YBG!) Dear new friends: I don’t post often, but when I do it’s usually short-form erotica about stuff dominant hetero guys like, plus bondage, machinery, consensual nonconsent, and orgasm control.

I don’t get into it so much under this identity–no need to distract from the smut–but I also like to think of myself as a feminist and queer ally. I hope that context informs the things I publish here, and I don’t believe there’s any inherent contradiction when I say that. Even the degrading aspects of BDSM can be a way to show that you respect and value someone.

Okay, that’s it. I basically wanted to write this to say that it is fascinating to see the “normal” tumblr identities with which people follow porn blogs. We’re all pervs underneath, aren’t we?

I am not actually a doctor. I am actually a tease.

Just for reference, and clarification.

This is my porn blog. I post here about sex, most of it involving some aspect of BDSM, female submission, and often degradation or nonconsent. These things get me off, and they seem to get a number of other people off too, so I’m happy to share.

But I should be very clear: I describe rape fantasy. I don’t condone rape culture.

As kinksters we like to pride ourselves on ethics, and there’s some good reason for that. Signaling, safewords, upfront negotiation, check-ins: these are all pretty solid consent technology. Moreover, since scening is by definition performance, it seems to help us grasp gender as performance too. It’s certainly helped me.

That said, securing a few words of informed consent before you tie somebody up and smack them is not the end goal, the final gamestate. If you’re reading this in English you probably exist in a culture that is frighteningly determined to propagate a contrived, confined, transactional model of women’s physical existence. Rape is a matter of course on this planet because that model works well for rapists. And if you’re not aware and disputing that in your speech and actions, every day, your ethics are bullshit, and the rapists are winning.

Consensual nonconsent can be, at its best, a safe place to explore and understand your own sexuality, on both sides of the actor/reactor divide. But the dangers of indulging the extant paradigm should be clear. If you ever find yourself agreeing–or not vocally disagreeing–that

not saying no is consent
a relationship is automatic consent
intoxication is ever consent
nice people can’t be rapists
prison rape is just
she led him on
she should have known better
he deserved it
it was her fault

Then you need to take a step back and check your fucking head.

This is really just a 101 post. I’m not a scholar on this subject and I have a lot to learn (failure to challenge and educate yourself is another way the system wins). There are many more and subtler aspects to rape culture than just the normalized act of rape. But I wanted to make it clear where I stand.

Thanks for reading past the cute pic with the butt and handcuffs. We now return to tying people up and smacking them around.